The beginning of a long journey

Well we finally have a day when our adoption journey begins. After a few months of waiting, our journey can begin on October 24th. We have to attend an orientation meeting to start the process. I have been told that this process can take a long time. I am learning patience and to appreciate what I have and to be content with where I am now. I am not in control, God is. His timing is perfect. His timing is not my timing, but nonetheless is perfect, therefore I will keep trusting Him and praying for contentment and patience.
Not that long ago, we heard the song "It is well with my soul" we were challenged on whether this is truly how we feel. (it wasn't pointed at me directly, but I feel as though everything is a challenge for me, I take all things to heart these days). The author of this song lost his 4 daughters in a shipwreck. How awful and devastating. I have a hard time with one daughter, let alone 4! And yet he wrote the song "It is well with my soul". To me this means I need to be content with where I am right now. Not constantly wanting more, not being disapointed. I need to appreciate what I have in the here and now. Being content with my little family on earth. Following God's desire for what He wants me to be doing now...Kidjam....Upward....helping others....continuing to speak about Him by sharing my story of His strength, courage and love. Being the best mom I can be to my son by showing God's love by my actions. Being a supportive wife and showing my husband God's love by my actions. Helping those in need. Encouraging those in need. Praying for those in need. Stepping out of the normal, and being a radical follower of Jesus. Not hiding, (not sure that is possible any more anyways...my life appears to be an open book) not being scared of this, but trusting in God's strength and courage to continue to be transparent. Looking at the needs of others and not my own. Loving my family for who they are. And if God should someday choose to bless us with more children – adoptive or otherwise – then I will be thankful, so thankful, but whether or not that happens...to know that my role on earth is to share my story and point others towards their loving Heavenly Father. One day I will have my big family – In Heaven we will be: Albert, Theresa, Micah, Kalyna and Jaimie. Until then, I hope to continue to trust God to help me be a witness for Him through words and actions so that people may come to know Jesus, and I can introduce them to my big family someday too.

This is so great to write, but real life is hard. Very hard. Stepping out in faith is hard. It's not easy. Making that move, saying that thing...it terrifies me...why? I don't really know why, but that's how I know it's only by God's strength that it is possible. I have to continuously get out of the way (fears, vanity, selfishness) and let God work.

Content. It is well with my soul. Can I say this to be true? I will keep praying that it may be true in my soul.