When we got A, she didn't have many verbal skills. She didn't say many words and really didn't make many sounds either. Just a lot of crying and behaviours that indicated that she was incredibly frustrated, or just plain mad. Most children by the time they are the same age as A, have conquered the basic sounds and some simple words. We are coming up to almost having A for 5 months, and really if I look back on where she was, she has made some incredible gains. She has definitely turned her attention and effort to communicating verbally now.
You would quite enjoy being a fly on the wall at our home around 5:30-6pm when Albert comes home from work. As it gets dark and as supper preparations begin, A starts looking towards the window and says "Dada?" Yes that's right, Dada. So despite the fact that most kids start saying dada around a year of age...we didn't miss that stage. At two years old, our daughter now knows who her Dad is. And let me tell you, you would think the king was coming through the door the way she reacts when Albert comes home! She keeps glancing at the window saying "Dada" until she hears his truck, then she runs to the window jumping up and down with excitement and yelling DAAAD DADA at the top of her lungs, just waiting to catch his eye when he walks past the front window! After yelling DADA a few more times when he waves at her through the window, she bolts to the front door where she promptly greats him with more DADAs and the word UP! Before he can take off his coat and shoes, she wants to be picked up by him and carried by him. It's incredibly cute....(although I may be slightly jealous....I get Mum mum often...but mostly its when she needs or wants something....however, I don't often leave her either...to be able to get such an exuberant welcome...hehehehe). But it's just so adorable to watch. I think she loves him so much and is always super happy to see him. (why wouldn't she be....hehehe I'm always super happy when he comes home too!) But definitely a daddy's girl for sure!
He gets a smiley hi from Micah too, though Micah is usually playing on the computer when Albert comes home, since making dinner with two toddlers is a chore, especially when it is notoriously meltdown hour and A needs to be in my arms while I'm making dinner! She throws very big fits if I don't pick her up while I cook. Sometimes this frustrates me, other times I try really hard to prepare ahead of time, or be ok with cooking one handed. I figure she can't do it forever...and if she needs that reassurance now (or she really loves to cook?) then I can deal with that most days....
But yes, almost 5 months and she went from barely speaking to now she daily picks up new words, definitely attempts new words all the time. She will try to repeat anything we say. She is also picking up on the babbling....just random sounds that are loud! But I'm so happy that she is finally making sounds. It's just so great to know that words are coming and communication continues to get easier with her and her frustration lately seems to be decreasing which is wonderful. Her frustrated behaviours; therefore, are also decreasing which is great! I hope that the reason for that is that we communicate better. There are still times where she will fly off the handle and we have missed the reason why...but for the most part, we are understanding her more and more.
I have also seen a change in Micah, some of his acting out behaviours are dissipating and he is much more obedient now and doesn't have that sudden change where he becomes completely defiant and out of control. So thankful for that as well.
And me. I am changing too. The way I deal with the kids. The way I try to figure out why. How you start to be more ok with comforting the child even when you told them a hundred times not to do something and they did it anyways...I think I'm more relaxed, less anxious and more go with the flow. And most of all I'd like to think that I'm a little more in control of my emotions...more steady and less prone to being set off by the kids. I think I'm feeling a little more settled. I remember with Micah, that it definitely took me at least 3 months to get used to having him around and figuring out life with an infant. I had to keep reminding myself that if it took me 3 months to get used to Micah it would probably take at least double to get used to life with two toddlers...and well we're almost at five and I'm just starting to feel at ease...although who knows what will happen next. We seem to have a handle on A's asthma now....hopefully that will continue. It also helps I'm sure, that right now we are all over the nasty colds we had last month.
I praise God that even though communication has been difficult, it is really awesome to watch A's language develop! Seeing her conquer new words every day and celebrating those words with her, is just great! Her little smirks and smiles when she is proud of herself for accomplishing a word is so sweet. It will be exciting to see where she is in a month and then a month after that! She is quite an amazing little girl. :)
I'll leave you with Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.
We didn't really understand why we had this very angry and difficult toddler, but in God's timing He is bringing about changes in all of us. We are being knitted together as a family rooted in God's love for each other as we let Him direct our paths.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Photographs
Photographs.
Those simple little things I used to take for granted. Sure I used to take pictures, but not an excessive amount and never really thought it was a big deal if I forgot my camera for an event. Often I'd let others take the pictures and just get a few after. I liked to just go and experience the event.
While experiencing the event is one thing, to me now it's capturing the people in the event that matters to me more now.
I guess what changed that was after our beautiful Kalyna passed away. I didn't think about it at the time. At the time I was simply in shock and definitely wasn't processing or thinking clearly at all. But oh how I wish I had thought enough to call a professional photographer to take some pictures of Kalyna. You know the tasteful kind. Pictures of her little hands, her little feet, a nice pose of her looking like she is sleeping....oh I'd love to have just one nice frame with a few pictures like this. We have a few of our precious girl, but they aren't ones I can hang around the house.
I guess I've been thinking about this lately, as I heard about another couple who recently lost their baby. When thinking about it, my advice to someone who knows them, is suggest a photographer...those pictures will become so cherished when their little one is gone. I have an album with all the memories I have of my daughter, and also a few items around the house that remind me of my daughter (a picture of a rose, a map of the star that was named after my daughter, Christmas tree ornament, a little tree, a flower, a candle, my necklace and locket) - I cherish every one of these mementos as they remind me of my precious Kalyna. They help me know that I will never forget her. (despite not being able to display pictures of her).
Now, though, I feel like I am on a mission to capture every perfect moment of our family. Every outing, event, I want to have my camera with me. I want to take pictures....many pictures to remember every little detail later. Who knows how long I will get to spend here on earth those I love...I want to be able to continue to see them even after they are gone. I want to remember the good times. To make as many memories as possible. We have very few memories of our precious Kalyna. One of the things that grief counselors say is remember all the memories you have....well what if you only have a few hours of memories? I am determined to have many memories we my loved ones as I can, so pictures I will take. Especially now that little A is here, I try to take as many as possible...even if it's just following the kids around as they walk around the house! I think I was disappointed this Halloween as I had a hard time getting good pictures as both kids weren't really into the dress up thing this year (likely due to the unknown of the activity, their colds, my impatience) -anyways, live and learn, hopefully next year it'll go a little better. But we were able to get some good ones from the pumpkin patch and from the farm at thanksgiving - which I'm so thrilled about. The next challenge will be to get a really good Christmas card picture!
Anyways, I know that in the big picture of life, photographs aren't the most important thing, but to me right now, they mark memories of the people I love. Capturing smiles just makes me smile too. I'm thankful for the ability to take pictures and remember memories of those we love - even if it's memories from a couple of hours. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to you, but just a little something that I've found is meaningful to me.
I guess meaningful mementos aren't a new thing. As I was searching the Bible curious about memories, I realized that the people in the Bible were constantly making mementos and memories to remember the things that God had shown/done for them. Building altars, creating holidays etc. It's not a new thing. It makes me realize that when I'm making memories that I need to realize the importance behind the memories. That when I think of Kalyna, I can't help but think about the way that God showed Himself faithful during our lowest, darkest hours. He was there. He provided people to help, He provided His peace and His comfort like only He could do. And now when I make these new memories, I think of the faithfulness of God and how He brought first Albert, then Micah and now little A into my life and what a blessing they are to me. Times that we spend together, pictures of them smiling, remind me that joy is still possible despite the hard, difficult times that come before and after the smiling pictures. I am thankful to God for these memories that point me to Him and will continue to remind me of His presence in my life.
Also at your times of rejoicing—your appointed festivals and New Moon feasts—you are to sound the trumpets over your burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, and they will be a memorial for you before your God. I am the Lord your God.” ~Numbers 10:10~
Those simple little things I used to take for granted. Sure I used to take pictures, but not an excessive amount and never really thought it was a big deal if I forgot my camera for an event. Often I'd let others take the pictures and just get a few after. I liked to just go and experience the event.
While experiencing the event is one thing, to me now it's capturing the people in the event that matters to me more now.
I guess what changed that was after our beautiful Kalyna passed away. I didn't think about it at the time. At the time I was simply in shock and definitely wasn't processing or thinking clearly at all. But oh how I wish I had thought enough to call a professional photographer to take some pictures of Kalyna. You know the tasteful kind. Pictures of her little hands, her little feet, a nice pose of her looking like she is sleeping....oh I'd love to have just one nice frame with a few pictures like this. We have a few of our precious girl, but they aren't ones I can hang around the house.
I guess I've been thinking about this lately, as I heard about another couple who recently lost their baby. When thinking about it, my advice to someone who knows them, is suggest a photographer...those pictures will become so cherished when their little one is gone. I have an album with all the memories I have of my daughter, and also a few items around the house that remind me of my daughter (a picture of a rose, a map of the star that was named after my daughter, Christmas tree ornament, a little tree, a flower, a candle, my necklace and locket) - I cherish every one of these mementos as they remind me of my precious Kalyna. They help me know that I will never forget her. (despite not being able to display pictures of her).
Now, though, I feel like I am on a mission to capture every perfect moment of our family. Every outing, event, I want to have my camera with me. I want to take pictures....many pictures to remember every little detail later. Who knows how long I will get to spend here on earth those I love...I want to be able to continue to see them even after they are gone. I want to remember the good times. To make as many memories as possible. We have very few memories of our precious Kalyna. One of the things that grief counselors say is remember all the memories you have....well what if you only have a few hours of memories? I am determined to have many memories we my loved ones as I can, so pictures I will take. Especially now that little A is here, I try to take as many as possible...even if it's just following the kids around as they walk around the house! I think I was disappointed this Halloween as I had a hard time getting good pictures as both kids weren't really into the dress up thing this year (likely due to the unknown of the activity, their colds, my impatience) -anyways, live and learn, hopefully next year it'll go a little better. But we were able to get some good ones from the pumpkin patch and from the farm at thanksgiving - which I'm so thrilled about. The next challenge will be to get a really good Christmas card picture!
Anyways, I know that in the big picture of life, photographs aren't the most important thing, but to me right now, they mark memories of the people I love. Capturing smiles just makes me smile too. I'm thankful for the ability to take pictures and remember memories of those we love - even if it's memories from a couple of hours. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to you, but just a little something that I've found is meaningful to me.
I guess meaningful mementos aren't a new thing. As I was searching the Bible curious about memories, I realized that the people in the Bible were constantly making mementos and memories to remember the things that God had shown/done for them. Building altars, creating holidays etc. It's not a new thing. It makes me realize that when I'm making memories that I need to realize the importance behind the memories. That when I think of Kalyna, I can't help but think about the way that God showed Himself faithful during our lowest, darkest hours. He was there. He provided people to help, He provided His peace and His comfort like only He could do. And now when I make these new memories, I think of the faithfulness of God and how He brought first Albert, then Micah and now little A into my life and what a blessing they are to me. Times that we spend together, pictures of them smiling, remind me that joy is still possible despite the hard, difficult times that come before and after the smiling pictures. I am thankful to God for these memories that point me to Him and will continue to remind me of His presence in my life.
Also at your times of rejoicing—your appointed festivals and New Moon feasts—you are to sound the trumpets over your burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, and they will be a memorial for you before your God. I am the Lord your God.” ~Numbers 10:10~
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