In "awe"

Well, it's been almost two months now since we've had A with us as apart of our forever family! For the most part, it's really starting to feel like she's always been with us! I think she is definitely growing more attached to us as well. It really seems like her anger is disapating and her smiles are more abundant now. I think we have more good days/moments than we do bad now too! Albert was off this past week and we had a lovely time. We visited a little zoo, a children's museum, the family farm and had some quality time at home. It was really great. We enjoyed Albert's week off immensely.
A new thing that little A has started to do that is super sweet is she has this blanket that she will put up to the side of her head and say "awwwww". Just recently she has started coming up to me and saying "awww" with her head against my leg. Hehehehe...so super cute! I think we are building a bond....although the downside slight downside that is...is that it seems that she freaks out everytime I leave a room....unless well distracted. But I've definitely noticed that it's a control thing...we were watching some info videos regarding making connections with adopted children and it was talking about how these children haven't had control, so control is important to them. When I leave a room it causes her stress, but if she leaves the room, she's in control....she's leaving me so that's ok, but if I leave, she's not in control, so she reacts. So I'll try to minimize the stress....but oh it's hard when I can't have a couple minutes alone in the bathroom without her reacting....but Albert is getting good at distracting :)

The other "awe" moment I had was just contemplating and re-reading some blog entries...it's really quite amazing to read over and see how God has been working in our lives over the past year. I'm totally in awe of Him. He is truly an amazing God and I'm in awe of the way He works. This beautiful little girl is the one we prayed for. The one we were in love with before she even came. We longed for her from the very beginning of this journey. God works in many ways that we don't understand. He answers prayers in many ways that we don't understand. But one thing we do understand is that God works are for His glory in furthering His Kingdom and I pray that lives might be changed by our story.

Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.
~Habakkuk 3:2~

Challenges

Most people who have adopted/fostered will tell you that it's definitely not without it's challenges.
Generally, as with most things, you can't understand the challenges until you are in the middle of it. I am blessed to know a wonderful woman who let me into her life and shared with me some of the challenges she's had with her adopted child. I think that it definitely helped to have some knowledge of trials and struggles that come with adoption before we adopted. I am very thankful for that, especially as we now deal with many struggles of our own. I know though, that parenting itself, any child really, has it's definite challenges. Being a parent is definitely not an easy task. You definitely grow to appreciate your parents way more than you ever did before once you become a parent - and I might add a parent of more than one!

Now I know that I tend to gloss over a lot of things and look more to the positive. I try to stay positive always, and know that God is providing strength for the day to day. But to keep being honest, there is definitely one challenge that I struggle with immensely. We have many challenges...as do all parents with their children, but there is this one thing that I just can't figure out. There are times when our adopted daughter will cry for seemingly no reason. It's a sudden onset of crocodile tears and inconsolableness. It's different from the normal, I fell down and I'm hurt cry. Or the I'm hungry cry, or the I'm annoyed cry, or I'm mad at you cry....we've learned all these cries. But then there is this one cry that just seems to be persistent for a good 10-15 minutes, and then as suddenly as it starts, it stops. I try milk (she loves her milk), I try food, I hold her with her blanket and bounce her, we sing, we try desperately to find a way to comfort her...and it just doesn't seem to work. It's super frustrating....we check her temperature, it's normal. She's not pulling on an ear, she's not holding her stomach, she's not doing anything except crying. We have come to the conclusion that maybe it's teething....I think she is getting her two year molars...but I don't really know. I have nothing to compare it to. Once it stops she's as happy as can be again. She runs around, eats, drinks, is affectionate...I don't know. It's hard not knowing what she was like from infancy to know what this could be. It doesn't happen very often. Hardly ever. But when it does, it's really hard because it's really hard to watch your child cry and have no idea why....Anyways, as time goes on I'm sure will figure out more of what it could be. And if it's teething, those teeth better show up really soon!!
But I'll leave you with a verse of strength, to keep seeing the Lord's face even when times get difficult or busy...it's definitely easy to leave out the seeking the Lord part of our busy days...but that is how we find strength to continue on with our busy days. I know it's hard to do my reading and praying during the day now because it is rare that I have a moment of peace to do that...so it gets pushed to naptime or after the kids are in bed, when I feel that there are a million other things to do...but despite the million of other things that need doing....seeking the Lord should be at the top of my list to do first. Seeking the Lord - to be renewed by Him and strengthened by Him for the minutes, hours, days that lie ahead. As it's only in His strength will I accomplish what He wants me to do and with the attitude that He wants me to accomplish it with.

Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.
~Psalm 105:4~