And so December is all but here and already all the Christmas stuff is out in full bloom. Normally everything Christmas excites me! I usually love Christmas and everything that goes with it. It's such a wonderful time of happiness and good quality time with family.
In past years I remember there being groups or seminars on what to do about Christmas when your Christmas isn't going to be such a merry one due to a loss or change of circumstances. I guess I never really thought what it would be like to have a holiday without a loved one. Well now I completely understand why these groups and seminars exist.
I know that I am so thankful for Jesus being born into the world, and I am more than happy to celebrate His birth. Without His birth there would be no Easter and no hope for us. So I celebrate hope and joy and love from the coming of Jesus into this world.
Everything else that comes with Christmas seems a bit daunting this year to put it lightly. Trees, ribbons, bows, presents, etc. seem all very trivial and frivilous to me right now. Why spend money on these things when there are people dying around the world .... (I know, I think I'm turning into a scrooge or something!) I've never been blessed with a real good sense of humour...I've always been somewhat of a serious person, and I think that is coming out more and more now.
Obviously something else I'm struggling with is that this would have been Kalyna's first Christmas. Technically Jaimie's as well (Jaimie was due end of January 2012). However they will both be spending their first Christmas in Heaven with the Birthday Boy Himself - Jesus. I suppose that will be a bigger and better celebration than anything we can put on down here! (Always helps to write my thoughts out...I hadn't thought of that till just now!)
I think part of me is worried that I'll be the downer of everyone's Christmas. Like if no one talks about her, will I feel hurt about that? If people do talk about her, will that make everyone sad? Will I ruin the mood of Christmas because I will be thinking about her? At a time of year when everyone is happy and excited it seems almost like it's not ok to be sad.
People continuously ask me about all things Christmas (as most people talk about this time of year), and it's hard to really answer cause no I have no tree, no decorations, no presents bought, I can't even bring myself to listen to Christmas music - usually I'm blasting Avalon Christmas as soon as December first hits.
However all that being said...I think I'm slowly coming around a little. As much as I'd like to simply dissapear for the month of December, I'm thinking that is rather impossible. Christmas is everywhere around me and there is no escaping it. It's in my face whether I'm ready for it or not. A few little blessings though have been popping up to encourage me through this season.
A good friend of mine, (she must have been given some divine knowledge) cause she sent me a beautiful email letting me know that she was thinking and praying for me through this time because she had heard a broadcast about how the holidays can be hard - I hadn't even told anyone I was struggling and she just seemed to know - that is surely one of the ways to know that I am not alone. Not alone in thinking that the holidays are hard - it's fairly normal - and secondly not alone that I have a Heavenly Father who is surrounding me with people who understand. I read the broadcast as well and it was helpful - especially knowing that this is normal and that it's ok to feel this way.
A second little blessing came in the form of a Christmas tree ornament. A beautiful crystal snowflake with a little K and J on it. It is incredibly special to me - so touched by the family that gave it to us. And I might just have to go out a get a small little Christmas tree just so I can hang it on it.
I guess it's important to me to have Kalyna around this Christmas -in different tangible ways. It seems a little more possible to get through if I can put her in it too. I'm trying to put together a Christmas card of Micah and then have a rose in the picture to as a memory of her. I don't know if that is strange, or if it means I can't let go? I think though that I have let her go, she is where she is suppose to be and I just want to remember her and keep her a part of our family. I don't want people to always think of us as the family that lost their daughter and feel sorry for us though. I just want to keep her beautiful memory as she is my only daughter at this point and she was here for such a brief time. But it's not only that I want a rose in the card this year, but I'd like to have a rose in her memory in my Family Christmas cards forever. No matter how many children we have down the road, I'd still like to always have a rose for her.
So I may not be over the top Christmas this year, but I do have to face it. I can't run away from it, I can't dissapear, so I will work at embracing it as much as I can. I know that traveling to Micah's grandparents houses will bring him the traditional Christmas trimings, which will be good. Maybe we'll have a little Christmas tree and we'll set up our Fisher price Nativity set. We may not be decked out this year, but we'll do some little special things. Gifts will probably be as meaningful as I can make them...if I hurry up and get on that in time for Christmas....I don't think I'm going to brave the mall much this year. But I will try not to turn the radio station off when a Christmas song comes on.
I think this is just how it's going to be this year, we'll celebrate the birth of Jesus, the coming of our Saviour with all our family and friends. We'll enjoy the quality time spent with each of the wonderful people we are blessed to know. You never know how much time you have left on earth with each one of them, so it is important to truly enjoy that time spent with them and not hold back. It's ok to feel all the emotions I feel, I think. Hopefully people will understand, but not tip toe around, just do what they normally do, and I'll just fit in wherever I can.
Thanks for reading my ramblings, I really appreciate all of you! :)
Monday, December 3, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
Emotions
I feel like I was never much of an emotional person. Yes I'm a female, so some it come with the hormones, but I feel like I was more of an even keel type of person. I was never really low, never really high. Now it seems like I feel emotions so deeply, I really don't know what to do with them.
This week has been an especially emotional week. It's hard to explain all the emotions that I have been overwhelmed with in the past week. But maybe if I try to explain them, they will make a little more sense to me?
In my previous post, I wrote about a wonderful woman. Someone who really I had just gotten to know since July. Maybe that's what made the loss so much more difficult, that I wanted to know her better, or wanted to learn more from her. I don't know. But I can't believe how much sorrow I have felt since her passing. Not that it isn't good to be sad and to miss her, but I want to be happy for her because she is with Jesus and her parents and her little ones who went before her. She lived her life serving God and had more than her fair share of health concerns. I'm sure she is now being rewarded for the life that she lived for God. I don't want to tear up everytime I think about her. I want to be happy for her and remember her fondly. I have so many memories of her. I love how my husband said it. He told me he had two very vivid pictures of her in his mind and he wanted to print them out so that he would remember her like that forever. One was of her giving me a hug back in July and the second was her sitting on the couch after church listening and talking with kids who were saying their memory verses to her. Two beautiful mental pictures of her. Those are beautiful memories of her. Why then do they make me sad? I can only think that it's because emotions aren't hidden anymore. They are there and present. When I feel something, I really feel it. So I guess I'm sad/happy all at the same time. Sad because I will miss her, happy because she is with Jesus and in such a better better place than here. I know some of the sadness is probably from thinking about how her family feels all these feelings even ten times more. How they have to continue on celebrating birthdays and Christmases with her earthly presence gone. But I know they will be relying on God for strength as well and He will graciously be providing it for them just as he has for us. Such a precious gift God's strength and comfort is.
Well, thankful for the time I did get to know her and her example. I know that my church family all feels the same way. She touched the lives of so many people as was evidenced by her beautiful memorial service. And I pray that I as well as others will be inspired by her life to continue to serve God and tell others about the Good News of Jesus, so that they too might find hope and strength to continue on in this ever difficult world.
All that being said, I also had the priviledge of celebrating my mom's 50th Birthday this week. What a blessing it is to be able to celebrate my mom's birthday with her. My mom's family and friends came by to celebrate my Mom! I especially loved how excited everyone was to surprise her! It was really great! It was a great celebration of her. She is definitely a great Mom and definitely an inspiration to me. She is ever so supportive and encouraging and uplifting. She is my mom and yet she is one of my greatest friends too. Such a blessing in my life. :) So thankful for her!
As this past week drew to a close, we now look forward to what this new week will bring...our initial home visit on the road to adoption. We are cleaning and extra baby proofing and making sure that we are doing all that we can to make sure that our home will be safe for the children to come. It seems somewhat silly to be extra proofing, when I know Micah is perfectly safe with the way it is, but then I think if there are more children in the house, I may not be watching every child as much as I watch Micah and I wouldn't want anything to happen, so it's good to be extra cautious. Nothing wrong with locking up medications and silverwear drawers.
Through all these emotions and turbulent times I know that God is seeing us through.
If you've never heard Mandisa's song "He is with you". You should check it out, it's really powerful. I was listening to it a lot this morning. Anyways, I'll leave you with a couple of verses, the first, the verse that was written on the program for the memorial service; and the second, one I found today while looking up the first verse:
"I have loved you with an everlasting love..." ~Jeremiah 31:3~
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. ~Jeremiah 31:13~
This week has been an especially emotional week. It's hard to explain all the emotions that I have been overwhelmed with in the past week. But maybe if I try to explain them, they will make a little more sense to me?
In my previous post, I wrote about a wonderful woman. Someone who really I had just gotten to know since July. Maybe that's what made the loss so much more difficult, that I wanted to know her better, or wanted to learn more from her. I don't know. But I can't believe how much sorrow I have felt since her passing. Not that it isn't good to be sad and to miss her, but I want to be happy for her because she is with Jesus and her parents and her little ones who went before her. She lived her life serving God and had more than her fair share of health concerns. I'm sure she is now being rewarded for the life that she lived for God. I don't want to tear up everytime I think about her. I want to be happy for her and remember her fondly. I have so many memories of her. I love how my husband said it. He told me he had two very vivid pictures of her in his mind and he wanted to print them out so that he would remember her like that forever. One was of her giving me a hug back in July and the second was her sitting on the couch after church listening and talking with kids who were saying their memory verses to her. Two beautiful mental pictures of her. Those are beautiful memories of her. Why then do they make me sad? I can only think that it's because emotions aren't hidden anymore. They are there and present. When I feel something, I really feel it. So I guess I'm sad/happy all at the same time. Sad because I will miss her, happy because she is with Jesus and in such a better better place than here. I know some of the sadness is probably from thinking about how her family feels all these feelings even ten times more. How they have to continue on celebrating birthdays and Christmases with her earthly presence gone. But I know they will be relying on God for strength as well and He will graciously be providing it for them just as he has for us. Such a precious gift God's strength and comfort is.
Well, thankful for the time I did get to know her and her example. I know that my church family all feels the same way. She touched the lives of so many people as was evidenced by her beautiful memorial service. And I pray that I as well as others will be inspired by her life to continue to serve God and tell others about the Good News of Jesus, so that they too might find hope and strength to continue on in this ever difficult world.
All that being said, I also had the priviledge of celebrating my mom's 50th Birthday this week. What a blessing it is to be able to celebrate my mom's birthday with her. My mom's family and friends came by to celebrate my Mom! I especially loved how excited everyone was to surprise her! It was really great! It was a great celebration of her. She is definitely a great Mom and definitely an inspiration to me. She is ever so supportive and encouraging and uplifting. She is my mom and yet she is one of my greatest friends too. Such a blessing in my life. :) So thankful for her!
As this past week drew to a close, we now look forward to what this new week will bring...our initial home visit on the road to adoption. We are cleaning and extra baby proofing and making sure that we are doing all that we can to make sure that our home will be safe for the children to come. It seems somewhat silly to be extra proofing, when I know Micah is perfectly safe with the way it is, but then I think if there are more children in the house, I may not be watching every child as much as I watch Micah and I wouldn't want anything to happen, so it's good to be extra cautious. Nothing wrong with locking up medications and silverwear drawers.
Through all these emotions and turbulent times I know that God is seeing us through.
If you've never heard Mandisa's song "He is with you". You should check it out, it's really powerful. I was listening to it a lot this morning. Anyways, I'll leave you with a couple of verses, the first, the verse that was written on the program for the memorial service; and the second, one I found today while looking up the first verse:
"I have loved you with an everlasting love..." ~Jeremiah 31:3~
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. ~Jeremiah 31:13~
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
A dear Friend
This morning I received an email about a dear friend that passed away last night. She and her husband served faithfully at our church everyday. What a blessing they both are to our church family and community and to my family. I am sure that everytime volunteers were needed for something she was there. I had only really come to know her in the past year, but what a blessing it was to know her. She was a huge source of strength to me.
I think I got to know her best this summer through Adventure Bible Camp. She was there everyday for weeks leading up to the camp helping and directing the prop creation. During the camp she was a group leader and led a large group of children around to the different stations keeping them in line while sharing the love of Jesus with them.
She was there when we needed help with Upward Basketball. She took care of the jersey sizing during registration. She did a great job and when things got busy, I didn't have to worry about if there were enough juice and cookies for the kids, as she made sure that the juice and cookie table was always full. She always knew just what to do.
She was also a great verse listener for KidJAM. She would listen to the kids say their verses after the service and then reward them with a candy. She told me once that she would make sure that the kids knew what the verse meant as well. It was important to her, that the kids knew what they were saying.
She was retired and could have just said that she had done all her work and now she could rest, but she didn't. She was always involved, always sharing the love of Jesus through her actions.
She was a source of strength for me because when my Kalyna passed away, she told me she had lost children as well - (through miscarriage and stillbirth). I saw how eventhough she had so much hurt and loss in her life, she still served God with all of herself and hadn't given up on life, she continued to live out her life for God. Not just getting by, but serving with all of her being. Her strength was truly amazing. I will continue to look up to her and be strengthened and encouraged by her life.
Now she has gone to be with Jesus, and her precious children that were waiting there for her. What a beautiful reunion that must be! And to think that she is the first one to meet our Kalyna is so beautiful as well.
This verse came to mind this morning when I was thinking about her...
Philippians 1:20-24
I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labour for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far...
She certainly lived out this verse. We will miss her so much, and I'm sure that her family and her loving husband will miss her ever so much...
What a wonderful, beautiful Godly woman you were and are to me.
May God continue to comfort your family and strengthen your family until you are reunited once again. Thank you for your commitment to serving God and for the example of a Godly woman that you lived out.
I think I got to know her best this summer through Adventure Bible Camp. She was there everyday for weeks leading up to the camp helping and directing the prop creation. During the camp she was a group leader and led a large group of children around to the different stations keeping them in line while sharing the love of Jesus with them.
She was there when we needed help with Upward Basketball. She took care of the jersey sizing during registration. She did a great job and when things got busy, I didn't have to worry about if there were enough juice and cookies for the kids, as she made sure that the juice and cookie table was always full. She always knew just what to do.
She was also a great verse listener for KidJAM. She would listen to the kids say their verses after the service and then reward them with a candy. She told me once that she would make sure that the kids knew what the verse meant as well. It was important to her, that the kids knew what they were saying.
She was retired and could have just said that she had done all her work and now she could rest, but she didn't. She was always involved, always sharing the love of Jesus through her actions.
She was a source of strength for me because when my Kalyna passed away, she told me she had lost children as well - (through miscarriage and stillbirth). I saw how eventhough she had so much hurt and loss in her life, she still served God with all of herself and hadn't given up on life, she continued to live out her life for God. Not just getting by, but serving with all of her being. Her strength was truly amazing. I will continue to look up to her and be strengthened and encouraged by her life.
Now she has gone to be with Jesus, and her precious children that were waiting there for her. What a beautiful reunion that must be! And to think that she is the first one to meet our Kalyna is so beautiful as well.
This verse came to mind this morning when I was thinking about her...
Philippians 1:20-24
I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labour for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far...
She certainly lived out this verse. We will miss her so much, and I'm sure that her family and her loving husband will miss her ever so much...
What a wonderful, beautiful Godly woman you were and are to me.
May God continue to comfort your family and strengthen your family until you are reunited once again. Thank you for your commitment to serving God and for the example of a Godly woman that you lived out.
Friday, November 16, 2012
God's love never fails
Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing… Remains
Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me
On and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never, ever, have to be afraid
One thing remains
In death, In life, I’m confident and
covered by the power of Your great love
My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can
separate my heart from Your great love...
("One Thing Remains" by Jesus Culture)
This song has been playing in my head for the past week. The chorus just goes over and over and over again....when I'm lying in bed, when I wake up in the morning...
..Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me...
...Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me...
....Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me...
As these words were replaying through my mind, I have come to realize that indeed God's love never fails, never runs out and never gives up on me. And that one thing that remains...that's Jesus' love.
It was while this song was running through my head, that I started to feel that passion returning for the position I was talking about. That was truly a gift from God. It's crazy, I feel...crazy....well maybe a little....emotions are just so real, so very real to me right now. Also so up and down. Maybe I have never taken risks in my life before...but the unknown is so fearful...all of a sudden my first response is fear. When did that happen? I am supposed to be confident! I thought I was confident...
Part of the problem, I think, is that making a decision has become virtually impossible to me...it was never easy before...both my husband and I struggle with this...but now fear of the unknown, the new etc. becomes such a bigger deal. I feel like everything I do affects something/someone...then I feel like I'm thinking too much of myself...then I think that God wants us to be witnesses to others, so how I act and what I do does matter...and it's important to take the time to seek God before making a decision...especially to overcome the now inevitable fear that shows up.
Anyways....God's love never fails.....my passion is returning! God lifted the fear and with God's strength I can walk through that door....the fear is still looming in the background and without God's strength I will surely give into it, but with a lot of prayer, that fear can stay in the background. God has cleared my head and now I can think about my job and the wonderful things that God has instore for it and the people involved...where He wants it to go...and let me tell you it's exciting! I'm very excited to see where it goes and how it can become something that impacts the community!
Second thing that proved this to me this week, is that Tuesday night I was asking God for some intense patience, or to please let the phone call to continue the adoption process come soon!
Next day....no joke...the phone rang...we have our initial visit booked...in less than two weeks we get this process started for real! So excited...yet so fearful all at the same time...what if we're not good enough...just talking to the worker on the phone, I was second guessing everything that I said! But as a good friend reminded me...we are trusting God and trusting in His strength. We will just continue to follow His leading in this journey of life.
And so I will continue to sing:
Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me.
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing… Remains
Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me
On and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never, ever, have to be afraid
One thing remains
In death, In life, I’m confident and
covered by the power of Your great love
My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can
separate my heart from Your great love...
("One Thing Remains" by Jesus Culture)
This song has been playing in my head for the past week. The chorus just goes over and over and over again....when I'm lying in bed, when I wake up in the morning...
..Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me...
...Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me...
....Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me...
As these words were replaying through my mind, I have come to realize that indeed God's love never fails, never runs out and never gives up on me. And that one thing that remains...that's Jesus' love.
It was while this song was running through my head, that I started to feel that passion returning for the position I was talking about. That was truly a gift from God. It's crazy, I feel...crazy....well maybe a little....emotions are just so real, so very real to me right now. Also so up and down. Maybe I have never taken risks in my life before...but the unknown is so fearful...all of a sudden my first response is fear. When did that happen? I am supposed to be confident! I thought I was confident...
Part of the problem, I think, is that making a decision has become virtually impossible to me...it was never easy before...both my husband and I struggle with this...but now fear of the unknown, the new etc. becomes such a bigger deal. I feel like everything I do affects something/someone...then I feel like I'm thinking too much of myself...then I think that God wants us to be witnesses to others, so how I act and what I do does matter...and it's important to take the time to seek God before making a decision...especially to overcome the now inevitable fear that shows up.
Anyways....God's love never fails.....my passion is returning! God lifted the fear and with God's strength I can walk through that door....the fear is still looming in the background and without God's strength I will surely give into it, but with a lot of prayer, that fear can stay in the background. God has cleared my head and now I can think about my job and the wonderful things that God has instore for it and the people involved...where He wants it to go...and let me tell you it's exciting! I'm very excited to see where it goes and how it can become something that impacts the community!
Second thing that proved this to me this week, is that Tuesday night I was asking God for some intense patience, or to please let the phone call to continue the adoption process come soon!
Next day....no joke...the phone rang...we have our initial visit booked...in less than two weeks we get this process started for real! So excited...yet so fearful all at the same time...what if we're not good enough...just talking to the worker on the phone, I was second guessing everything that I said! But as a good friend reminded me...we are trusting God and trusting in His strength. We will just continue to follow His leading in this journey of life.
And so I will continue to sing:
Your love never fails, never gives up. Never runs out on me.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Verses of courage to overcome fear
Fear, something I'm struggling with right now. I thought I was someone who wasn't afraid. I guess I have always been afraid of the dark, but that seems different somehow then the fear that so easily creeps in and keeps us from doing what God has planned for us. This week fear has been slowly taking over. Slowly moving in. It's strange because as I've been letting it in, I have been provided with different resources to keep it from taking over. As I re-read the sermon notes that I have from this week, it became clear to me that part of the sermon touched on exactly my problem this week. Filtering my decisions through fear. Yep that's me this week. There's a door standing wide open and yet there is a large cloud of fear blocking me from entering. Obviously God knew what I needed, and He is also keeping me humble and I am desperately needing to rely on His strength. That is the only way I can move forward through that door. That is the only way I should walk through that door - on my knees.
Anyways, for anyone else struggling with fears, here's a couple good sermons ....and some verses of encouragement that talk about courage to overcome fear.
http://semcmission.podbean.com/
I would recommend : (although they are all quite good!)
A Little Knowledge - Sept 9, 2012
When Life Gives You Chains - Sept 16, 2012
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”~Deuteronomy 31:6~
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
~Joshua 1:9~
The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
~Psalm 27:1~
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
~Psalm 56:3-4~
The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
~Romans 8:15-16~
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.~1 Corinthians 16:13~
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
~2 Corinthians 4:7-11~
And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.
~Philippians 1:14~
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence,“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
~Hebrews 13:5-6~
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
~1 John 4:18~
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
~2 Timothy 1:7~
Anyways, for anyone else struggling with fears, here's a couple good sermons ....and some verses of encouragement that talk about courage to overcome fear.
http://semcmission.podbean.com/
I would recommend : (although they are all quite good!)
A Little Knowledge - Sept 9, 2012
When Life Gives You Chains - Sept 16, 2012
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”~Deuteronomy 31:6~
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
~Joshua 1:9~
The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
~Psalm 27:1~
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
~Psalm 56:3-4~
The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
~Romans 8:15-16~
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.~1 Corinthians 16:13~
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
~2 Corinthians 4:7-11~
And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.
~Philippians 1:14~
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence,“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
~Hebrews 13:5-6~
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
~1 John 4:18~
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
~2 Timothy 1:7~
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Scars and Fears
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
~Isaiah 41:10~
Scars and Fears - two small words, yet very powerful and somewhat overpowering words.
As I was lying in bed tonight trying to sleep, I couldn't stop thinking about these two words and what I was going to write about them. I would assume that any sort of trauma in one's life would bring about these two words as one continues to live. For me, it's no different. Sure I've had scars on my knees from scrapping the gym floor while tripping over someone's feet/or my feet while playing basketball, and yes there's one on the inside of my knee from my supurb wipe out on my bike because I was trying to be cool and drink from my waterbottle while riding...but let's be honest, those superficial scars don't compare to the emotional scars that are left after a life altering moment.
For me, some of those scars are becoming fairly evident...others I'm sure will be revealed in due time. The scar of pain and sorrow will be one that will surely last forever. It's one that I am constantly learning to live with. The sudden onset of tears, the sudden onset of deep sadness, the sudden onset of any emotion bubbling up without warning.
Then there's the sleep-scar. I don't really know why I often have trouble sleeping. It's not usually an unpleasant experience, I'm just awake when I want to be asleep. Sometimes I'm thinking too much and can't settle my mind down, sometimes I end up praying for awhile, sometimes I have crazy vivid dreams, sometimes I just need to cry. Whatever the reason, sleep coming easy seems to be a thing of the past. Thankfully my good friend coffee and I have been reunited!
Another scar I have noticed is food. I used to enjoy food, now not so much. It's just something I do now because I have to. I used to enjoy savouring food and eating slowly. It was fun to enjoy a good meal, to have seconds because it's just that good. Now, it's just food...sure it's good...but it's just food...there's no enjoyment anymore. No more taking my time to make it last...it's just food. I just eat cause I have to. Mind you this has been very helpful in dropping my pregnancy weight...
Then there is the obvious scar, the never again do I ever want to be pregnant again scar. I just can't do it. I don't want to do it. So much pain and heartache has come as a result of that. I don't think I can handle anymore of that. Regardless of what anyone says, I was the only one near my two children at their time of death. They both passed away inside of me. There is really no one to blame but me. Now I know most people would say I really had nothing to do with it...but regardless it's hard to shake that blame. But I won't sit here and dwell on that, because as I've said in previous posts, that will lead me down the wrong road and I have to find my worth in God as His child and trust in Him. So I will leave it at that.
Then there is the hidden scar of fear. Fear. It's huge. It can strike at any time. I can be going about my business, I like to be busy, then suddenly fear strikes. For example, I was in a little grocery store back in August or September I think and I was picking up a few groceries. Suddenly I spotted someone I knew and instantly fear took over. I ended up avoiding the aisles that this individual was on and had to keep watching out so that I didn't run into this person. I'm not sure I even got everything I needed before quickly paying for the groceries and leaving. The fear just took over. It took me a good long while before I was able to face the library again, still haven't made it to the early years centre yet, was too afraid for the longest time...I think I could face it now...though I have been conveniently too busy to go. Then there is this position that I have been over the moon excited about having. Excited to be doing a little bit of work again. Excited to have a position that I had always thought would be a great opportunity to use a variety of my skills and loves. Ever since I sat in a church staff meeting back when I was helping with a church camp after my first year of university, I have wanted to work within a church staff. But now as I sit and think about everything that it entails, I am suddenly terrified that I can't do it. Sure I can do all the menial stuff and things will be just fine. Everything will happen as it should and it will appear to be going well. However, that's not the only thing that is needed. This needs to become a passion of mine. Something that my heart dreams over and seeks constantly to make sure that it is going down the road God wants it to be on. Something to build up with others and open my heart to what God wants to reveal to me through them about it. I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to do this. That my heart just can't take it on. Is fear keeping me from letting this be a passion of mine? It used to be. I'm so afraid. I can't take it lightly...it's such an important role. Can fear be overcome? Can scars be overcome? (can you tell why I can't sleep?)
As I had been thinking of these scars and fears, the very first thing that came to mind was Isaiah 41:10. God says very clearly "do not fear". Do not fear because "I am your God". That's right. It's enough to know that our God is greater, our God is stronger (good song by Chris Tomlin), He is the almighty, amazing, awesome God who loves us with a love that is above all. We can never be loved more than God loves us. He sent His son to die for us....losing a child is awful awful awful...being the cause of it would simply rip my heart into pieces. He did it because He loves us so much that He doesn't want any of us to perish without Him (John 3:16). Without His son Jesus, we'd all perish without God as we are completely wrapped up in this sinful world in our sinful nature, ever since the eating of the forbidden fruit. We are doomed. Done. But no....Jesus endured so much pain and suffering and died for me and for you. And God let that happen - because He loves us that much.
But the verse doesn't just stop there in saying that we shouldn't be afraid because God is our God. He continues to say that "He will strengthen us and help us". We don't have to go it alone. We can't. I can't. I tried...I run around grocery stores frantically trying to avoid nice people! I sit at night writing instead of sleeping because I am consumed by fear and worry. Might I add that God also tells us not to worry (Matthew 6:26-34). But the only way that I am going to slowly overcome these scars and fears is by God's strength. By His "righteous right hand". He will give me the strength to keep on living and find a way to either live with the scars if it's His will, or overcome them. He will give me the strength to overcome my fears. I have seen evidence of this already. With God's fairly clear prompting and with the help of some very good friends, I was able to overcome my fear and share my story with the group I had previously written about. That was not in my strength. Nor was it my idea of something I wanted to do. I really didn't want to have to do it. God basically told me to do it. And with that, He provided me the strength and the help I needed to be able to do it. I can very clearly say, I was sitting in the service one Sunday and out of nowhere came that thought that I needed to share with the group. Yes, I wasn't able to do it the first week, curve ball, fear, took over there, but I am learning and trusting and God gave me the strength and the support I needed to overcome that paralyzing fear and share. It wasn't long. It wasn't flowery. Just simple. I hope that it encouraged the group who heard it and may have opened some doors or planted some seeds. Not for me to know (maybe it was simply for me), but I do know that God is amazing and He has plans bigger than I can imagine. He will continue to help me overcome the fears I have. I will keep asking Him for strength and trying to rely only on His strength and not in my own strengths...So glad that He is my God and that He give us His strength and upholds us with His righteous right hand...otherwise I'd just keep on sinking and being overwhelmed by my scars and fears.
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. ~Isaiah 41:13~
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
~Isaiah 41:10~
Scars and Fears - two small words, yet very powerful and somewhat overpowering words.
As I was lying in bed tonight trying to sleep, I couldn't stop thinking about these two words and what I was going to write about them. I would assume that any sort of trauma in one's life would bring about these two words as one continues to live. For me, it's no different. Sure I've had scars on my knees from scrapping the gym floor while tripping over someone's feet/or my feet while playing basketball, and yes there's one on the inside of my knee from my supurb wipe out on my bike because I was trying to be cool and drink from my waterbottle while riding...but let's be honest, those superficial scars don't compare to the emotional scars that are left after a life altering moment.
For me, some of those scars are becoming fairly evident...others I'm sure will be revealed in due time. The scar of pain and sorrow will be one that will surely last forever. It's one that I am constantly learning to live with. The sudden onset of tears, the sudden onset of deep sadness, the sudden onset of any emotion bubbling up without warning.
Then there's the sleep-scar. I don't really know why I often have trouble sleeping. It's not usually an unpleasant experience, I'm just awake when I want to be asleep. Sometimes I'm thinking too much and can't settle my mind down, sometimes I end up praying for awhile, sometimes I have crazy vivid dreams, sometimes I just need to cry. Whatever the reason, sleep coming easy seems to be a thing of the past. Thankfully my good friend coffee and I have been reunited!
Another scar I have noticed is food. I used to enjoy food, now not so much. It's just something I do now because I have to. I used to enjoy savouring food and eating slowly. It was fun to enjoy a good meal, to have seconds because it's just that good. Now, it's just food...sure it's good...but it's just food...there's no enjoyment anymore. No more taking my time to make it last...it's just food. I just eat cause I have to. Mind you this has been very helpful in dropping my pregnancy weight...
Then there is the obvious scar, the never again do I ever want to be pregnant again scar. I just can't do it. I don't want to do it. So much pain and heartache has come as a result of that. I don't think I can handle anymore of that. Regardless of what anyone says, I was the only one near my two children at their time of death. They both passed away inside of me. There is really no one to blame but me. Now I know most people would say I really had nothing to do with it...but regardless it's hard to shake that blame. But I won't sit here and dwell on that, because as I've said in previous posts, that will lead me down the wrong road and I have to find my worth in God as His child and trust in Him. So I will leave it at that.
Then there is the hidden scar of fear. Fear. It's huge. It can strike at any time. I can be going about my business, I like to be busy, then suddenly fear strikes. For example, I was in a little grocery store back in August or September I think and I was picking up a few groceries. Suddenly I spotted someone I knew and instantly fear took over. I ended up avoiding the aisles that this individual was on and had to keep watching out so that I didn't run into this person. I'm not sure I even got everything I needed before quickly paying for the groceries and leaving. The fear just took over. It took me a good long while before I was able to face the library again, still haven't made it to the early years centre yet, was too afraid for the longest time...I think I could face it now...though I have been conveniently too busy to go. Then there is this position that I have been over the moon excited about having. Excited to be doing a little bit of work again. Excited to have a position that I had always thought would be a great opportunity to use a variety of my skills and loves. Ever since I sat in a church staff meeting back when I was helping with a church camp after my first year of university, I have wanted to work within a church staff. But now as I sit and think about everything that it entails, I am suddenly terrified that I can't do it. Sure I can do all the menial stuff and things will be just fine. Everything will happen as it should and it will appear to be going well. However, that's not the only thing that is needed. This needs to become a passion of mine. Something that my heart dreams over and seeks constantly to make sure that it is going down the road God wants it to be on. Something to build up with others and open my heart to what God wants to reveal to me through them about it. I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to do this. That my heart just can't take it on. Is fear keeping me from letting this be a passion of mine? It used to be. I'm so afraid. I can't take it lightly...it's such an important role. Can fear be overcome? Can scars be overcome? (can you tell why I can't sleep?)
As I had been thinking of these scars and fears, the very first thing that came to mind was Isaiah 41:10. God says very clearly "do not fear". Do not fear because "I am your God". That's right. It's enough to know that our God is greater, our God is stronger (good song by Chris Tomlin), He is the almighty, amazing, awesome God who loves us with a love that is above all. We can never be loved more than God loves us. He sent His son to die for us....losing a child is awful awful awful...being the cause of it would simply rip my heart into pieces. He did it because He loves us so much that He doesn't want any of us to perish without Him (John 3:16). Without His son Jesus, we'd all perish without God as we are completely wrapped up in this sinful world in our sinful nature, ever since the eating of the forbidden fruit. We are doomed. Done. But no....Jesus endured so much pain and suffering and died for me and for you. And God let that happen - because He loves us that much.
But the verse doesn't just stop there in saying that we shouldn't be afraid because God is our God. He continues to say that "He will strengthen us and help us". We don't have to go it alone. We can't. I can't. I tried...I run around grocery stores frantically trying to avoid nice people! I sit at night writing instead of sleeping because I am consumed by fear and worry. Might I add that God also tells us not to worry (Matthew 6:26-34). But the only way that I am going to slowly overcome these scars and fears is by God's strength. By His "righteous right hand". He will give me the strength to keep on living and find a way to either live with the scars if it's His will, or overcome them. He will give me the strength to overcome my fears. I have seen evidence of this already. With God's fairly clear prompting and with the help of some very good friends, I was able to overcome my fear and share my story with the group I had previously written about. That was not in my strength. Nor was it my idea of something I wanted to do. I really didn't want to have to do it. God basically told me to do it. And with that, He provided me the strength and the help I needed to be able to do it. I can very clearly say, I was sitting in the service one Sunday and out of nowhere came that thought that I needed to share with the group. Yes, I wasn't able to do it the first week, curve ball, fear, took over there, but I am learning and trusting and God gave me the strength and the support I needed to overcome that paralyzing fear and share. It wasn't long. It wasn't flowery. Just simple. I hope that it encouraged the group who heard it and may have opened some doors or planted some seeds. Not for me to know (maybe it was simply for me), but I do know that God is amazing and He has plans bigger than I can imagine. He will continue to help me overcome the fears I have. I will keep asking Him for strength and trying to rely only on His strength and not in my own strengths...So glad that He is my God and that He give us His strength and upholds us with His righteous right hand...otherwise I'd just keep on sinking and being overwhelmed by my scars and fears.
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. ~Isaiah 41:13~
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Time
Time. It's definitely been a thought on my mind a lot lately. It seems that whenever I get stuck on a thought these days, I dive into my Bible to find out everything I can about it. So I dove in and with Albert's help searched out verses relating to God's timing. They relate to time as God sees it, God's timing in things to come and God's timing in when He returns again.These verses give me confidence that God does have timing under control. It's definitely something I struggle with. Always wanting my own timing, I want things to happen now, now would nice, yes indeed. I have my own timing that I would like to see happen. However, I don't know everything, and I would never get everything right. I don't know the future, or my future (here on earth)... I don't know what is coming down the road.
I was in a bit of a funk for the past week and everything was weighing heavily. I met with a friend this week and we had a good long talk...I don't think we stopped talking the entire day. As I got in my car to leave, I felt that cloud disappear. What a wonderful feeling that was. One of the things my friend talked about was how God was refining her. That really struck home with me. I believe that is so true in my life as well. I know that God is still working on me and refining me and preparing me for what He wants me to do. I know God still has a lot of work to do on me and I have to be willing to wait till I am where He wants me to be as He brings certain things/people/events into my life. To keep seeking Him to know who He wants me to be and how I need to grow in Him. To trust His refining in my life and to be open to it. (Definitely a different perspective than the one I had a couple days ago!)
Here are some of the verses that we found. So thankful for God's true word.
Habakkuk 2:3
For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.
Genesis 18:14
Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.
Genesis 21:1-5
Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him. When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him. Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him.
Galations 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me,“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Peter 3:8-9
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Luke 18:27
Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
Psalm 46:10
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 90:4
A thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night.
Psalm 37:3-7
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
1 Peter 1:6-9
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Isaiah 49:8-9
This is what the Lord says: “In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land
John 7:6-8
Therefore Jesus told them, “My time is not yet here; for you any time will do. The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that its works are evil. You go to the festival. I am not going up to this festival, because my time has not yet fully come.”
Psalm 31:14-15
But I trust in you, Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hands; deliver me from the hands of my enemies, from those who pursue me.
Psalm 75:2
You say, “I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge with equity.
Mark 1:15
“The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”
Mark 13:33
Be on guard! Be alert. You do not know when that time will come.
1 Thessalonians 5:1-2
Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.
Titus 1:2-3
In the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time, and which now at his appointed season he has brought to light through the preaching entrusted to me by the command of God our Savior,
Acts 1:6-8
Then they gathered around him and asked him, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
I was in a bit of a funk for the past week and everything was weighing heavily. I met with a friend this week and we had a good long talk...I don't think we stopped talking the entire day. As I got in my car to leave, I felt that cloud disappear. What a wonderful feeling that was. One of the things my friend talked about was how God was refining her. That really struck home with me. I believe that is so true in my life as well. I know that God is still working on me and refining me and preparing me for what He wants me to do. I know God still has a lot of work to do on me and I have to be willing to wait till I am where He wants me to be as He brings certain things/people/events into my life. To keep seeking Him to know who He wants me to be and how I need to grow in Him. To trust His refining in my life and to be open to it. (Definitely a different perspective than the one I had a couple days ago!)
Here are some of the verses that we found. So thankful for God's true word.
Habakkuk 2:3
For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.
Genesis 18:14
Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.
Genesis 21:1-5
Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him. When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him. Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him.
Galations 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me,
2 Peter 3:8-9
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Luke 18:27
Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
Peter said to him, “We have left all we had to follow you!”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.”
Psalm 46:10
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 90:4
A thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night.
Psalm 37:3-7
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
1 Peter 1:6-9
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Isaiah 49:8-9
This is what the Lord says: “In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land
and to reassign its desolate inheritances, to say to the captives, ‘Come out,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Be free!’
John 7:6-8
Therefore Jesus told them, “My time is not yet here; for you any time will do. The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that its works are evil. You go to the festival. I am not going up to this festival, because my time has not yet fully come.”
Psalm 31:14-15
But I trust in you, Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hands; deliver me from the hands of my enemies, from those who pursue me.
Psalm 75:2
You say, “I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge with equity.
Mark 1:15
“The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”
Mark 13:33
Be on guard! Be alert. You do not know when that time will come.
1 Thessalonians 5:1-2
Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.
Titus 1:2-3
In the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time, and which now at his appointed season he has brought to light through the preaching entrusted to me by the command of God our Savior,
Acts 1:6-8
Then they gathered around him and asked him, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
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