5 years

Every year I give myself one day. One day to think about what could have, should have, would have been. One day to miss her deeply. One day to cry over her. One day to lament over the fact that no matter how many family pictures we take, they are always incomplete. Her beautiful face is missing from every family photo.

5 years ago today I held my baby girl for the first and last time on this earth. I smelled her sweet smell, I studied her perfect little features and kissed her super soft cheeks.
5 years ago today, her legacy began. Kalyna Leanne's legacy began.

Every day that I choose to live, choose to have joy and choose to continue on living for Jesus and for my family is a part of her legacy. I hope that I am making her proud.
Ava and Ellia are part of her legacy. They came after her and came because of her. Two little girls that I have the privilege of raising. I hope and pray that I can do that well.
Her life even so brief has a purpose. God created her with a purpose and I believe that every day I don't give up, is helping to fulfill the purpose God has for her life. I love this quote I found a couple days after she passed away:

"The amount of time on earth matters very little: a man can live in greed and pride 90 years and never find God, know Him or accomplish His plan. A stillborn baby on the other hand, teaches people to love, brings people to the Lord, teaches us the tenuous nature of life and teaches us a faith that those who have not suffered loss can never know. A child not even breathing for an hour, can have an impact greater than a famous preacher. The purpose of a life is not ours to decide nor in our hands: it is brought about by God." ~Author unknown~

I think that is why I share this blog now. I want her life to be more than just the sweet day that I held her. I want her life to continue to point people to Jesus even 5 years down the road....

Her life was a huge loss for us, but we have hope that we will hold her, see her, wrap our arms around her again one day in Heaven. The perfect place that God has created for all those who choose to believe in Jesus. That perfect place where our family picture will be complete.

If you don't know Jesus yet, I encourage you to seek Him out. Ask the tough questions. Life is much to hard to go alone. Without Jesus I don't think I would be here 5 years later living the legacy of my daughter.

Kalyna Leanne

July 11, 2012

Forever Loved.

Forever Safe in the Arms of Jesus.