Joyful Christmas Eve

Well we've reached another Christmas. It's funny how we mark time. Christmas seems to be the biggest holiday that we celebrate and seems to be the biggest deal...maybe that's why we tend to miss those that are missing the most at Christmas time? Maybe it's because family all gets together and it's then that it makes it more clear who's missing? Maybe it's cause everyone talks about things going on, or (in our case) what their kids are doing now and you tend to let your thoughts waiver over what yours would be doing, if they were still here? I don't know. Whatever the reason, Christmas time seems to be the time when memories and thoughts of loved ones who've passed on, suddenly threated at times to overwhelm.

For me, I still find myself in a funk where I struggle to do things that have no significant meaning. Why have a big tall beautiful tree, when a cheap little one will do the trick? What's the point to the grand expensive giant tree? I can't bring myself to buy meaningless gifts either. I'm horrible at gift giving because if I can't find something good, I just tend to give up. Not a great thing if I'm supposed to have a gift for someone and can't think of anything meaningful. This year my wonderful husband suggested an idea...and it was great....almost too late, but managed to come up with good ones for most people. Wish I had thought of it sooner, as to been able to give it to more people sigh. Hopefully it'll work well for next year, or I can give it to others after Christmas maybe...

So this Christmas...a mixed emotion Christmas....as I'm sure all Christmases will be from this point on.

A week ago yesterday, a very wonderful man from our church passed away very suddenly. It was a shock to all. We used to sit in front of him at church every Sunday. He'd always smile and say hi or crack a joke about something. His wife works with me on staff at our church and is always helping others or saying/writing encouraging words. His eldest son is a great guy and I just met his younger son this past week, but he also seems like a really great guy. JG was a great husband and father to his wonderful family. He took care of them and loved them and was a Godly example to them. Just hearing the stories and memories fondly shared this week showed me just how much he meant to them all. He is now with Jesus this Christmas, his faith now turned to sight. I will remember him fondly with that big smile and I will be praying for his family as they weather their first Christmas without him.

This Christmas is A's first Christmas with us. What an up and down ride it has been with her. We just passed the 6 month mark of her being in our home. While for others it may be easy to see she's come a long way, sometimes when we're bogged down in the middle of things, it can be hard for us to see, although there are definite things that have changed. Head banging/head hitting/hand biting etc. have all pretty much disappeared. It reoccurs on the odd occasion when something sets her off, (usually something we missed), but thankfully it is mostly gone. She still has the odd time where she cries without us knowing why....but then that passes and she is her happy little self again. She is a lot of work, but to be honest, a lot of the work has to be done on myself. I have to learn to regulate my emotions, no matter how I'm feeling at the time, so that I handle situations appropriately and with her best interests in mind and not my own. So I'm a work in progress too. I'm coming along slowly. Some days I do a great job....other days I fail miserably. It is definitely one of my biggest challenges. But I'm learning and God is giving me strength to continue to do better and to be more compassionate. All that being said, I'm very excited for A's first Christmas. Today was the first day that both Albert and I have been home with the kids for just a quiet day. It has been really great so far. We had some fun playing in the snow together this morning...so nice to have a white Christmas this year. A's expressions when she opens gifts is really fun to see. She gets all excited and exclaims over new gifts. She'd probably open all the presents under our tree if I let her! It will be so fun to see her excitement! Micah also gets pretty excited over everything. He loves to help A with her gifts, so it's hard sometimes for him to remember that she can do it too! It was very sweet the other night at my dad's, Micah was asked who should get the first present to open and he said A. Very cute of him to think of her first. :) Warms my heart. Also looking forward to many of our extended family meeting A for the first time. :) Hopefully it isn't too overwhelming for her.
To: A__  Lynne Marie: Merry Christmas my dear little daughter A. Thank you for your love and trust, we hope you have a blessed Christmas and we are so thankful you came into our lives this year. We look forward to having papers in the new year that are signed by a judge to say you are officially ours! With all our love now and forever. You are forever ours and we won't let you go or give up on you. We promise you that. We will weather the storms and we are sorry for times when we fail you, but we will keep working on ourselves that we can be the best parents possible to you. You are our beautiful little daughter.We love you.

To: Micah Albert: Merry Christmas! You are our precious son. Our firstborn. The one that taught us first hand how to be parents. We are still learning and you definitely remind us of that! You are such a caring and compassionate little boy. We are so blessed to have you in our lives. We love you so much. Be blessed this Christmas and in this coming year. We look forward to seeing you continue to grow, learn and hopefully come to love our Saviour. We love you.

To: Kalyna Leanne my beautiful first little girl. I love you so much and miss you so much. To have seen your laughing, smiling face as you point at lights and rip open Christmas presents; to hear your first words and maybe a song; to see your first unsteady steps turn into a run; this Christmas would have been a fun one with you. Instead we have only our memory of your birth....and the memory of what we think you may look like now. However, we know you celebrate with the King....really the best celebration of all...in fact it lasts year round, so you're happy everyday. I know this to be true, so really my best thoughts of you should be of you with Jesus and not of the memories that I've missed.
So it is here where I'll focus my heart. Merry Christmas dear little Kalyna. Celebrate well.

And Merry Christmas 2013 to everyone reading as well. Be blessed this new year. Continue to live for Jesus and not for what is comfortable.
I leave you with the Christmas story (the true reason for Joy in the season despite circumstances)beginning with the shepherds as I feel the shepherds are very much us. (Terrified of the good news, yet seeking it out, finding it to be true, and sharing it with all - I feel as though it describes what we should do too)

                                                   Luke 2:8-20
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

A Daddy's Girl

When we got A, she didn't have many verbal skills. She didn't say many words and really didn't make many sounds either. Just a lot of crying and behaviours that indicated that she was incredibly frustrated, or just plain mad. Most children by the time they are the same age as A, have conquered the basic sounds and some simple words. We are coming up to almost having A for 5 months, and really if I look back on where she was, she has made some incredible gains. She has definitely turned her attention and effort to communicating verbally now.

You would quite enjoy being a fly on the wall at our home around 5:30-6pm when Albert comes home from work. As it gets dark and as supper preparations begin, A starts looking towards the window and says "Dada?" Yes that's right, Dada. So despite the fact that most kids start saying dada around a year of age...we didn't miss that stage. At two years old, our daughter now knows who her Dad is. And let me tell you, you would think the king was coming through the door the way she reacts when Albert comes home! She keeps glancing at the window saying "Dada" until she hears his truck, then she runs to the window jumping up and down with excitement and yelling DAAAD DADA at the top of her lungs, just waiting to catch his eye when he walks past the front window! After yelling DADA a few more times when he waves at her through the window, she bolts to the front door where she promptly greats him with more DADAs and the word UP! Before he can take off his coat and shoes, she wants to be picked up by him and carried by him. It's incredibly cute....(although I may be slightly jealous....I get Mum mum often...but mostly its when she needs or wants something....however, I don't often leave her either...to be able to get such an exuberant welcome...hehehehe). But it's just so adorable to watch. I think she loves him so much and is always super happy to see him. (why wouldn't she be....hehehe I'm always super happy when he comes home too!) But definitely a daddy's girl for sure!
He gets a smiley hi from Micah too, though Micah is usually playing on the computer when Albert comes home, since making dinner with two toddlers is a chore, especially when it is notoriously meltdown hour and A needs to be in my arms while I'm making dinner! She throws very big fits if I don't pick her up while I cook. Sometimes this frustrates me, other times I try really hard to prepare ahead of time, or be ok with cooking one handed. I figure she can't do it forever...and if she needs that reassurance now (or she really loves to cook?) then I can deal with that most days....

But yes, almost 5 months and she went from barely speaking to now she daily picks up new words, definitely attempts new words all the time. She will try to repeat anything we say. She is also picking up on the babbling....just random sounds that are loud! But I'm so happy that she is finally making sounds. It's just so great to know that words are coming and communication continues to get easier with her and her frustration lately seems to be decreasing which is wonderful. Her frustrated behaviours; therefore, are also decreasing which is great! I hope that the reason for that is that we communicate better. There are still times where she will fly off the handle and we have missed the reason why...but for the most part, we are understanding her more and more.
I have also seen a change in Micah, some of his acting out behaviours are dissipating and he is much more obedient now and doesn't have that sudden change where he becomes completely defiant and out of control. So thankful for that as well.
And me. I am changing too. The way I deal with the kids. The way I try to figure out why. How you start to be more ok with comforting the child even when you told them a hundred times not to do something and they did it anyways...I think I'm more relaxed, less anxious and more go with the flow. And most of all I'd like to think that I'm a little more in control of my emotions...more steady and less prone to being set off by the kids. I think I'm feeling a little more settled. I remember with Micah, that it definitely took me at least 3 months to get used to having him around and figuring out life with an infant. I had to keep reminding myself that if it took me 3 months to get used to Micah it would probably take at least double to get used to life with two toddlers...and well we're almost at five and I'm just starting to feel at ease...although who knows what will happen next. We seem to have a handle on A's asthma now....hopefully that will continue. It also helps I'm sure, that right now we are all over the nasty colds we had last month.

I praise God that even though communication has been difficult, it is really awesome to watch A's language develop! Seeing her conquer new words every day and celebrating those words with her, is just great! Her little smirks and smiles when she is proud of herself for accomplishing a word is so sweet. It will be exciting to see where she is in a month and then a month after that! She is quite an amazing little girl. :)
I'll leave you with Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.
We didn't really understand why we had this very angry and difficult toddler, but in God's timing He is bringing about changes in all of us. We are being knitted together as a family rooted in God's love for each other as we let Him direct our paths.

Photographs

Photographs.

Those simple little things I used to take for granted. Sure I used to take pictures, but not an excessive amount and never really thought it was a big deal if I forgot my camera for an event. Often I'd let others take the pictures and just get a few after. I liked to just go and experience the event.
While experiencing the event is one thing, to me now it's capturing the people in the event that matters to me more now.

I guess what changed that was after our beautiful Kalyna passed away. I didn't think about it at the time. At the time I was simply in shock and definitely wasn't processing or thinking clearly at all. But oh how I wish I had thought enough to call a professional photographer to take some pictures of Kalyna. You know the tasteful kind. Pictures of her little hands, her little feet, a nice pose of her looking like she is sleeping....oh I'd love to have just one nice frame with a few pictures like this. We have a few of our precious girl, but they aren't ones I can hang around the house.
I guess I've been thinking about this lately, as I heard about another couple who recently lost their baby. When thinking about it, my advice to someone who knows them, is suggest a photographer...those pictures will become so cherished when their little one is gone. I have an album with all the memories I have of my daughter, and also a few items around the house that remind me of my daughter (a picture of a rose, a map of the star that was named after my daughter, Christmas tree ornament, a little tree, a flower, a candle, my necklace and locket) - I cherish every one of these mementos as they remind me of my precious Kalyna. They help me know that I will never forget her. (despite not being able to display pictures of her).

Now, though, I feel like I am on a mission to capture every perfect moment of our family. Every outing, event, I want to have my camera with me. I want to take pictures....many pictures to remember every little detail later. Who knows how long I will get to spend here on earth those I love...I want to be able to continue to see them even after they are gone. I want to remember the good times. To make as many memories as possible. We have very few memories of our precious Kalyna. One of the things that grief counselors say is remember all the memories you have....well what if you only have a few hours of memories? I am determined to have many memories we my loved ones as I can, so pictures I will take. Especially now that little A is here, I try to take as many as possible...even if it's just following the kids around as they walk around the house! I think I was disappointed this Halloween as I had a hard time getting good pictures as both kids weren't really into the dress up thing this year  (likely due to the unknown of the activity, their colds, my impatience) -anyways, live and learn, hopefully next year it'll go a little better. But we were able to get some good ones from the pumpkin patch and from the farm at thanksgiving - which I'm so thrilled about. The next challenge will be to get a really good Christmas card picture!
Anyways, I know that in the big picture of life, photographs aren't the most important thing, but to me right now, they mark memories of the people I love. Capturing smiles just makes me smile too. I'm thankful for the ability to take pictures and remember memories of those we love - even if it's memories from a couple of hours. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to you, but just a little something that I've found is meaningful to me.

I guess meaningful mementos aren't a new thing. As I was searching the Bible curious about memories, I realized that the people in the Bible were constantly making mementos and memories to remember the things that God had shown/done for them. Building altars, creating holidays etc. It's not a new thing. It makes me realize that when I'm making memories that I need to realize the importance behind the memories. That when I think of Kalyna, I can't help but think about the way that God showed Himself faithful during our lowest, darkest hours. He was there. He provided people to help, He provided His peace and His comfort like only He could do. And now when I make these new memories, I think of the faithfulness of God and how He brought first Albert, then Micah and now little A into my life and what a blessing they are to me. Times that we spend together, pictures of them smiling, remind me that joy is still possible despite the hard, difficult times that come before and after the smiling pictures. I am thankful to God for these memories that point me to Him and will continue to remind me of His presence in my life.

Also at your times of rejoicing—your appointed festivals and New Moon feasts—you are to sound the trumpets over your burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, and they will be a memorial for you before your God. I am the Lord your God.”  ~Numbers 10:10~

My man

Another noteworthy date that recently passed was my husband's birthday. He hit a pretty significant mark age wise this year. And in light of the fact that it was his birthday (earlier this month), I thought I should reflect on this man whom God has blessed me with.

I'm not really sure what I ever did to deserve a man like my husband. He'd probably tell me I'm crazy, but really it's true. Sure he might not be that man who showers me with gifts (for the money is much better spent elsewhere...we both know that!) and most of you who know him, know he's definitely got some lovely little quirks (ex. socks needing to be folded a certain way (which is perfectly normal in his family....kind of a laughable trait in mine...)) however, the stuff that really counts, he excels at.

A phrase that I've heard many times now, especially throughout this past year is "Theresa, your desires are my desires." What he is saying is that my passions become his passions. And he throws his whole self into those desires and just like that there is no his or hers but a big OURS...and it's even better than what little bit I had come up with. He runs with it and makes it better. He does it so completely.  Sure I dream about things, think things, ponder things...but none of those thoughts, dreams, passions would ever amount to anything without my Albert backing me up and throwing himself wholeheartedly into the middle of it. I could never imagine someone that would ever be more supportive of me. He truly makes me a better person. Instead of just thoughts, words etc., he lets me live it out and enables me to do that, because he wants to do it too! I cannot fathom someone wanting to do the things I come up with...but he truly does! I only hope that I can do the same to his passions, dreams and desires as well.

Sometimes when one is a mother, the husband is very much wanting wife to be home always, cleaning, cooking, washing his underwear, teaching the children to behave and clean up after themselves...which is always what I aspire to do, however, it doesn't always happen quite like that. Albert has been known to have an empty underwear drawer...yes very much demonstrating my lack of ability as a housewife...as much as I try hard, I always seem to fail at this...case and point...I should be folding laundry right now. eek. However, my point in all this is, that despite the fact that Albert does very much appreciate always having laundry in his drawer, he still allows me to be me and extends me grace when I fail. He knows I tend to stretch myself thin...and unfortunately in doing that, my house chores are generally the things that suffer....and although I know it drives him crazy....he is still so supportive and understanding. I'm so thankful that he doesn't expect a gourmet chef every night and is thankful for an edible meal :)

He is my helper, my best friend, my supporter, my encourager, my realist, my reliever, my break-giver...He is thoughtful, humble, loyal and hardworking
I love him dearly - we've been married for 6 years, and we've know each other since second term of my first year of university. God has placed Albert in my life for a reason. I couldn't imagine life without him. God clearly knew what He was doing when He caused our paths to cross. I need to remember to thank Him every day for my Albert and all he is to me, and how we continue to grow together more and more through every day. We've been through a lot in our 6 years of marriage. They certainly haven't been easy ones. But through it all, there was never a question in my mind that my Albert would be there for me. He wasn't leaving, he wasn't going anywhere. He is in it for the long haul, through thick and thin...no matter what the circumstance. And he has made that abundantly clear - it isn't just me - he has made it very clear that he won't leave, and he has proved that over and over (I may have had a slight complex about that, coming into marriage (my past, nothing to do with Albert), but Albert has worked very hard to alleviate that fear).
I could go on and on about my Albert, but I'll leave it there for now, but end with the fact that I am so thankful for the day my husband was born. When God created him and gave him life. I'm thankful for the experiences that he has had growing up and for his family who has helped shape him into the man he is. I'm thankful for him and the choices he has made for his life and I'm so grateful that he chose me to share his life with and to commit himself to. And I'm incredibly grateful for his love for God first.

So happy belated birthday Albert. I love you.

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
~Genesis 2:24~

 

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
~Ecclesiastes 4:12~

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
~Jeremiah 29:11~

Little A is two!

So our little A turned two this past week. Can't believe it! It seems so crazy that she is already two and we've only known her for about 3 and a half months of her two year old life. That just blows my mind away.  20 and a half months of her 24 months have been spent living else where. I definitely look forward to the day that she will have lived longer with us than she has in other places. We are almost at the half way mark of our probationary period as well. When a child is adopted, they are placed with a 6 month probation period before the paperwork goes before a judge. If all goes well, hopefully our paperwork will go before a judge early January.

We had A's birthday party over the weekend. It went really well. We just had some close extended family over to celebrate. I think both A and Micah had a great time. A was a little shy after her nap, but then warmed up to everyone who came. It was great. She opened presents, with a little help from Micah, but enjoyed each present that she got. It was great to see how everyone has gotten to know her enough to get her gifts that peeked her interest and that I know she will enjoy.

I just love her interests right now, they are quite funny...coming in at number one....Tractors...yep that's right, we've got a farm girl on our hands! How perfect.....hehehehe. So needless to say her cake was purple and green with a John deer tractor on it. I know, but it was super cute and I think she loved it....she loves playing with the tractor on top anyways. :)

So here we go....with a 2 year old little A. And her first week of being two is full of appointments for her....physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and a visit from the adoption worker. We saw the physical and occupational therapists 2 months ago and they were blown away by her progress from the first time they saw her. My guess is that we will be finished with them after this visit, because I think she is mostly where she should be in her gross motor and fine motor movements. She was a little behind in her fine motor skills 2 months ago, but those have improved. Probably still a bit delayed, but it's coming for sure. I'm looking forward to her speech therapy though. I'm hoping for more strategies to help her with her speech. I think she is quite delayed there, but probably because she put so much focus into her gross motor and fine motor skills. I think she is slowly making the switch to communication now. Even in the past week her vocabulary has grown, so it's coming! So looking forward to communicating better with her. Although, with communication means she can tell us exactly what she wants...even if it isn't something she can have....but at least we'll know. And it would be good if she could tell us if she was in pain or hurting or having issues breathing...now that would be very helpful!

But for now we keep plugging along, still learning things about her everyday. Everyday being a new experience and sometimes it's a great day where we communicate well and anticipate her needs...and other days we seem to fall back 10 steps and it feels like we'll never get it right. On the plus side, only one more tooth to come in. So good.

Well we look forward to knowing our little A more and more and to see her through the rest of her birthdays!

Here's a verse I found this past week and I think it pertains very well. :)

May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.
~2 Thessalonians 3:5~
Keep persevering my friends, may God be your strength.

The Ups and Downs

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted anything, mostly because it's been busy. Being a mom of two on earth is definitely not an easy thing. I'm discovering that toddlerhood isn't my favourite stage in life. That being said...everyone goes through the toddler stage, it's just the way it is. It's just a patience trying stage.....there are definitely some super cute moments...moments that melt your heart and make you smile big...but it's also very trying...

I guess it's been about a month since I've written...well since then we spent two days in the hospital with A for her asthma...definitely did not know quite how serious asthma is. Now I have become much more educated about it, and much more aware of it. I'm always trying to listen to A's breathing, trying to figure out if she is ok, or if it's getting worse. She is pretty subtle. But I don't want to end up in the ER again due to asthma! Definitely not something on my list to do again!
However, it's pretty easy to tell that Micah and A adore each other. When A came out of the hospital, we went to my mom's house where Micah was and it was like a scene from a movie. Micah came running out of the front door and A came running up from the road when the van was and they ran to to each other. I think we were all worried they would crash...but they stopped just in time and laughed together. So cute!

Lets see what else, well A is starting to say a few words now, which is great! She is loving B words...anything that starts with a B she will repeat! It's quite funny. The best thing is that Micah loves to be her teacher. He will say "A, can you say Bus? " and then she'll say "Bus". She will try most anything Micah asks her to try. It's very cute.

We also had our Adventure Bible Camp at the end of August. Albert was superbly wonderful as he took off the week and hung out in the nursery/toddler room every morning with the kids and other kids as well. I got a break and got to teach the Imagination Station! So much fun...exhausting, but so fun! Sharing Jesus with kids in practical ways that they could understand was great! Micah and A would come and listen to the music at the beginning of camp and at the end. They loved the music...as a result we have the cd and the kids dance to it all the time. We have dance parties or musical meals....hehehe :)

Lets see what else, we had a trip to a small zoo, which was pretty fun. We went with friends and enjoyed our time. It was busy....incredibly busy....but I think the kids had fun! There was a splash pad and trampolines...so A was very happy about that...probably would have spent the entire time there...though she also thoroughly enjoyed the giant sand box as well! We got some great pictures too and now are proudly displaying pictures of A and Micah on our living room wall! That makes me very happy.
We have also just reached our 3 month mark having A in our family. As I look over our 3 months...it's definitely been a very challenging three months...they have stretched me in many ways I didn't think possible, but I know I've grown as a person and hopefully as a parent. But A has definitely come a long way too. The angry little girl that first came has mostly been replaced by a fun, mischievous, adventurous and curious little girl. She still has her temper, but it's more I'M MAD.........I'm ok again...usually. Guess that comes with the fact that she has red hair in her genes...hehehe...

Oh and I also got the "are the twins?" question just the other day! So funny! But 15 months doesn't look like a whole lot when A is getting close to Micah's height. She is seriously growing so fast! I think she is growing out of size 2 clothing already!

Let's see, anything else to share? Hmmm mostly just the daily ups and downs. Some days we're clicking and running smoothly, other days we're melting down and just barely holding it together. That's just life with toddlers as I have come to learn.
All that being said, I wouldn't change it for anything. Is our life more difficult...definitely. But life wasn't meant to be easy...not when you are living for a purpose greater than yourself. We are extended and stretched in ways we probably didn't think possible, but I believe that God gave us A for a reason and a purpose and we need her as much as she may need us. I hope that we can be a good example to her and Micah of what followers of Jesus look like and what it means to follow Him wholeheartedly no matter what. My prayer is that both of my children will come to know Jesus at a young age and seek to follow Him all the days of their lives, no matter what. It's not easy....but life would be even more unbearable and awful without our Saviour guiding our steps and giving us strength for each and every moment of each and every day. I want as many people to know this....that you need Jesus to live in this world, to survive and to thrive. Without Him, there is no hope. Life without hope is simply awful. So if you don't yet know Jesus...please talk to someone who does, or myself..or check out the Bible...it's truly a great thing. He really wants to be there for you...to see you through...and you know what, He is already there for you, throwing people and circumstances in your life to point you to Him...He's there pulling you towards Him already....He's waiting for you to acknowledge that He loves you so you can see Him pouring His love, truth, strength into your life!
Here's my verse for the day:
But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. ~James 1:25 NLT~Really liked this verse today...it spoke volumes to me.

Well, thanks for reading, sorry it's been awhile! Hope you enjoy the update! :)

In "awe"

Well, it's been almost two months now since we've had A with us as apart of our forever family! For the most part, it's really starting to feel like she's always been with us! I think she is definitely growing more attached to us as well. It really seems like her anger is disapating and her smiles are more abundant now. I think we have more good days/moments than we do bad now too! Albert was off this past week and we had a lovely time. We visited a little zoo, a children's museum, the family farm and had some quality time at home. It was really great. We enjoyed Albert's week off immensely.
A new thing that little A has started to do that is super sweet is she has this blanket that she will put up to the side of her head and say "awwwww". Just recently she has started coming up to me and saying "awww" with her head against my leg. Hehehehe...so super cute! I think we are building a bond....although the downside slight downside that is...is that it seems that she freaks out everytime I leave a room....unless well distracted. But I've definitely noticed that it's a control thing...we were watching some info videos regarding making connections with adopted children and it was talking about how these children haven't had control, so control is important to them. When I leave a room it causes her stress, but if she leaves the room, she's in control....she's leaving me so that's ok, but if I leave, she's not in control, so she reacts. So I'll try to minimize the stress....but oh it's hard when I can't have a couple minutes alone in the bathroom without her reacting....but Albert is getting good at distracting :)

The other "awe" moment I had was just contemplating and re-reading some blog entries...it's really quite amazing to read over and see how God has been working in our lives over the past year. I'm totally in awe of Him. He is truly an amazing God and I'm in awe of the way He works. This beautiful little girl is the one we prayed for. The one we were in love with before she even came. We longed for her from the very beginning of this journey. God works in many ways that we don't understand. He answers prayers in many ways that we don't understand. But one thing we do understand is that God works are for His glory in furthering His Kingdom and I pray that lives might be changed by our story.

Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.
~Habakkuk 3:2~