1 week

Well we have reached the one week mark with our newest addition!
Today has been a good day! To think that last Wednesday there was still quite a bit of head banging and hitting herself....(not sure if those are comfort things, or learned things...) but they are subsiding thankfully!! She's definitely bonding well with us. Sunday night she had some alone time with Albert, and I think it was definitely trial by fire....they had such a rough time..(I think she is used to a female caregiver) however, since then, every time Albert walks into a room after being gone, she gives him the biggest smile and will often run to him! It's so adorable!
It's funny, you can definitely tell that our family has had an adjustment...our usually fairly quiet days are now full of noise, laughter, some crying, some chaos...but are definitely full full days! Currently, Everyone is napping except me. That's right. A is sleeping for her nap and Micah and Albert are having an impromptu nap on the couch while they were supposedly watching Thomas the Train. It's now playing and the two of them are sound asleep.... Me I'm waiting for my coffee to be done to get me through the end of the day! Albert has been hanging out around the house for the past few days...working from home, or going to work in the afternoon to help with the adjustment and to continue to bond with A. It's been quite the adjustment...and at times very overwhelming, but we are coming along. We have our good moments and bad moments...but generally every day gets a little better.
I'm so glad that it is summer as A loves to play outside...put her in front of some water and she is all the way in. The outside has definitely helped me out a lot....although a fence would be helpful as A also loves to run....it's hilarious cause she runs in such a toddler way, while shaking her head....pretty sure she's going to fall over every time she does it!
Well that's about it for now I guess...probably should get some stuff done....our house has definitely seen better days.....well better in terms of tidy...however it is much fuller now and that is an amazing gift! Our yellow farm room has it's occupant now! :)

Here's a verse I found last night that I liked so I'll leave you with it! (so glad that our God goes before us :)

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

 ~Deuteronomy 31:8~

The girl who sleeps with a blanket on her head...

Well it's day 3. Day three was a much better day than day 2. Super thankful for that.
Spent a nice quiet day at home which was very nice. I started out the day taking the kids ...(I can say kids now!!) outside! The sun wasn't too hot yet. It was so great! A wandered around and so I followed her to make sure she didn't go too far...but she also loved loved playing with the outdoor car - you know those big red ones they can sit in?) She loved it! So awesome...right now I think it's her favourite thing next to her blanket! She was in and out in and out for so long...at one point Micah and A were sitting in it together....super cute! :)

The rest of the day consisted of Micah and A running around the house and a few quieter moments when I got her to sit down and kind of play!

Also huge accomplishment today! A had a nap! Been trying for the past 2 days to get her to nap unsuccessfully, but finally today, she had a little over an hour nap! So thankful for that! Just needed that quieter time to myself, to play with Micah and to clean up a little. And it made for a better evening with her as she wasn't over tired! :)

And crazy thing...been in our house for over two years now, and never visited our neighbours until tonight when the kids (...hehehe still love that!) kept pointing to the ponies and the neighbour was cutting the grass and invited us over to see the ponies...so we now have a standing invite over there to see the ponies any time...probably will happen often as both Micah and A seem to love animals. A seems especially taken by horses right now! Its one of her words I think. Ho - for horse...she likes the horse stuffy that we have...and kept pointing to the ponies outside saying Ho...hehehe :) Love that she likes animals too... :)

On a more serious note...as our neighbour commented today...she looks like she could be dutch, with her colouring...I was thinking it's interesting how we were up for adopting a child of any origin, that God would give us a child that looks like she could have been born into our family. That will probably in the long run be a great thing for her and a harder thing for us. She hopefully won't have too much of an identity crisis later hopefully....hopefully she won't feel out of place.
It will be more of a challenge for us as because she isn't noticeably adopted, if she acts out or throws a fit in public...we as parents will be judged for our poor parenting skills....even though it may be because we've only had her for a week/month etc. It will definitely make us more humble and challenge our motives and putting our child first no matter how bad it may make us look. (If that makes sense?) But we are here for A no matter what and will do our best for her.

So although we are working to understand a non-verbal toddler who probably hasn't heard people say no to her very often....and possibly had some neglect for a month maybe....she also has her super sweet moments - when she puts her head against Micah's and says awwwe....or when Albert or I are helping her fall asleep, she's so still and smiles and relaxes and oooos - it's so cute...when she stares up at you with her big blue eyes... :) That's where her sweetness shines. Hopefully we can slowly bring that out of her a little more!
Oh and as the title says, she sleeps with her blanket over her head...probably a comfort thing...but oh how it's hard to be ok with that...I'm super paranoid about sleeping kids already and whether they are continuously breathing...and she sleeps with a blanket on her head! AHHHH....I'm learning to be a little less paranoid....  :)

Still looking for a life verse for A...but this will do for now! :)

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,

I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

~Psalm 139:13-16~

A new letter is added!

Yesterday, a new letter was added to our family initials!  An A. A for a dear sweet little girl. A little girl who is now part of our Family. We rejoice and give thanks to God for wonderfulness that we have a little girl to raise and a sister for Micah to play with! It is pretty amazing.
It all happened so incredibly fast. We had heard about a little girl (she's almost two) that needed a
home. We went to a meeting on Monday and by Wednesday she was here to stay! Talk about fast...Nice not to have to wait, but we are definitely not quite as prepared stuff wise as we probably should be, but that will come. Although, it makes it slightly more difficult as I'm not yet comfortable taking the two kids out - mostly because I don't know A well enough yet as to know how she might react! I'm sure it will come...it's only day 2 of being with her!

Ahh the joys of two children under 3. I have longed for the day....waiting patiently...sometimes impatiently for the days of two children...  So I'm super thankful that those days are finally here. Now that they are here, I'm in that period of serious adjustment....they say one to two kids is hard...I'd agree with that....especially when the 2nd is a non-verbal toddler....hahahaha....but I'll figure her out yet.... :)
Micah loves having a playmate. The two of them run around the house and well mostly just run. They make each other laugh, and Micah is always trying to interpret her to me. "No Mommy that was a laugh" "She's not banging her head, she's moving it to the music". Micah has definitely claimed that big brother role. He's mostly helpful too. But I think they exhaust each other....it's definitely melt down time about 4:00! I think Micah needs to go back to having naps!

Today I attempted to take both kids to the doctors. Probably not the best idea. I always like to think I'm strong...but today was definitely not my strongest day. But I survived and now both kids are sleeping and I have an evening of quietness ahead of me, so I definitely can't complain. And I will figure out how to accomplish my daily tasks again amidst the chaos that is now my days...wonderful chaos...trying chaos...but at least there is some chaos now.  I'm am definitely looking forward to finding better ways of communicating with A though...more than the yelling and throwing things....eek! Working hard on the baby sign language for sure! :) I'm so interested to see what the difference will be a month down the road, 6 months down the road....a year down the road....as I grow closer to little A and learn all I can about her.

God has seen fit to bring this little miracle into our lives at just the right time and in just the right way...I need to keep trusting Him for my daily strength as I live through each day just like I have been all along. :)

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.

~Psalm 84:7~

"Already There"

Just read the lyrics to this song....could they be any more applicable? They are so meaningful in all the ups and downs of life, to remind us of the grand design in which we fit, that God already has prepared and knows how it will all play out, even though we only get the day to day stuff.

From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

 From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
 
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

 One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

You are already there

"Already There" by Casting Crowns

A verse for thought

One of the blogs I read had this verse on it today, and I thought it was quite interesting. What an interesting verse and a new perspective to think about.

 

Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time.

But no one seems to care or wonder why.

No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come.

~Isaiah 57:1~

 

Just a little something to think about.

How when our loved ones pass from this earth - If they are believers of our Holy and Awesome God, or too young to make that decision for themselves, they are welcomed into God's presence...indeed saving them (protecting them) from the all the evil this world holds.

Just something to think about.

"We Won't Be Shaken"

This song seems to sum up a lot of my feelings over the past little while...Standing still and not being shaken, even when it seems easier to just give in and crumble.  It's definitely a good one to have playing around and around in my head...especially as we face a multitude of unknowns...

This world has nothing for me
This life is not my own
I know You go before me and I am not alone
This mountain rises higher
The way seems so unclear
But I know that You go with me so I will never fear
I will trust in You

Whatever will come our way
Through fire or pouring rain
We won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken
Whatever tomorrow brings
Together we'll rise and sing
That we won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken

You know my every longing
You've heard my every prayer
You've held me in my weakness
Cause You are always there
So I'll stand in full surrender
It's Your way and not my own
My mind is set on nothing less
Than You and You alone
I will not be moved oh

Whatever will come our way
Through fire or pouring rain
We won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken
Whatever tomorrow brings
Together we'll rise and sing
That we won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken

We will trust in You
We will not be moved
We will trust in You
And we won't be shaken
~Lyrics from "We Won't Be Shaken" by Building 429~

A rough day

As Mother's Day came, I was reminded of the fact that at this point in my life I had been hoping to be raising two maybe three kids. Sadly, I'm currently raising only one (one really great little boy) but just one. It's at this point that I am reminded of what a huge failure I am as a Mother. What kind of mother loses two children before they are born? Somehow I should have been able to protect them - to keep them from harm. If not Jaimie than, than somehow I should have known that Kalyna was in trouble. It's one of those mom instincts to want to protect and keep our children safe. Unfortunately, mothers' can protect their children from some things, but not all things. Many things are way out of our control. It truly is God who holds our children in His hands. There are things we have to leave up to His loving hands and trust that He loves them more than we do. Here is how we know: (this has become one of my favourite passages in the Bible)

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.

Psalm 139:1-18

 

This goes for us and our children.