Dedication Day

A day I had been waiting for, for a long time. Dedication Day.
I tried to figure out why this was so important to me. I have already given my children to God. I know that they are His first and that He has entrusted them to me. But I think I wanted to follow in this step because it's just so meaningful to declare that we will raise our children to hopefully one day believe in Jesus and trust Him and follow Him wholeheartedly and that the church will help us do that as well. We are so thankful for our wonderful church family. They are truly so supportive and loving and beautiful. I am so thankful to be raising my kids in our church. That they are part of an extended "family" that will love them and show them Jesus through their actions.
 I think in part, I also wanted this dedication because I wanted a celebration. We've had heartache and people have shared in our heartbreak...I think I wanted to share my joy. I wanted to focus on what I do have and celebrate what I have, and not lament over what I don't have or feel like I should have. (This stems from a recent breakdown of mine a week or so ago-however, I am not going to wallow back there but to stand up against that depression and find joy in my Saviour and in my family.)

It was a really great day. All of our immediate family came out to the church service. I know that they will help us raise our children to come to know the Lord too. I can feel their support and their love. I'm so thankful for our family support system. They have accepted A into our family with unconditional love. It's so beautiful. Our family just brings me to tears the way they have really stepped up to help us shoulder the weight of being parents. They are all excellent grandparents and aunts and uncles...our kids are so blessed to have each of them in their lives. They each bring their own unique gifts to better the lives of my kids.
A's previous foster mom and her family came to the church service as well and her other foster family came to the bbq too. A has been so loved and so supported and so prayed for. I love how those that know A continue to want to be a part of her life. She is so special to so many people. I hope that keeping these connections will be a blessing to her as she grows. 

The day just made my heart sing. Celebrating our son and daughter. Micah, our handsome, smart, little man. He continues to amaze me by his ability to learn, care and love. He is just awesome. A, our beautiful, sweet, tender-hearted, spunky, fun-loving, yet tenacious, resilient and stubborn daughter. She has brought so much joy to our family. There was a time where it was hard to think that it was joy, there was so much confusion and anger...probably on both sides, but God has been here all along and had her in His plan and us in His plan. Together we are all better because we have each other.

I love my little daughter. I can't wait to see how she continues to grow and develop. She is amazing.
I love my son too. I look forward to watching him continue to grow and develop and start school this year!
Thank you dear Heavenly Father for these beautiful children you've given us. Thank you for your all powerful strength that you've given to us. Thank you for hearing our prayers.

Here is the verse I shared with the church. So important to know that it was only by God's strength that we were able to bring A into our lives. He carried us...and continues to carry us. In our strength we fail, but with God's strength - well His strength creates miracles.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Official

Well...we got the phone call today! (well yesterday now, by the time I get this posted!) Today our adoption worker called to say that A is officially ours today! The judge signed the papers and approved the adoption! DONE.
Wow. This journey we began back in August of 2012....calling and then waiting for an info session for a couple of months, 9 weeks of PRIDE training, weeks of homestudy and then finally being open, and the waiting....and then we met A. It's a rollercoaster ride to say the least, but it's been almost 10 months now that she has been here and we are so glad that she is. Now she is officially part of the family, even though she already was one of the family. We are so thankful and grateful to God that our adoption is complete with her. It's very much a blessing. No more visits from our worker anymore (although she was a wonderful woman)!

After the phone call we called Albert to let him know and then we had a dancing/jumping party. A loves to jump! Micah took some pictures and then we took some more pictures! We also bought some cupcake mix at the store and made cupcakes to celebrate, A loves to bake as well! It is a really great day!

The feeling of her adoption being complete is like no other. I am so happy....I guess I didn't realize there was stress over this, but I feel peace. Feel joy. Feel elation. Feel thankfulness. It's just a wonderful feeling and only increases my love for A, knowing that she is ours completely. What a great feeling.

That isn't to say that there won't be challenges along the way. We've come to realize that having some openness in our adoption would benefit A....but that is for another post. Right now, I am simply going to bask in the wonderfulness that she is officially ours! :)

I'll leave you with these verses:

Take delight in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,

your vindication like the noonday sun.

~Psalm 37:4-6~

Freeze

If I could freeze a day, today would probably be one of those days.
It's rare that we have a good day when we are home all day, but today was one of those days when everyone was in just the right mood to all get along.
It was so nice.
We had a leisurely morning, with both Albert and I getting a little time to ourselves, we had fun playing with the kids and lunch was yummy too. We had some awesome friends come over for coffee and had a wonderful visit with them. We had some more fun outside (even though it was terribly cold) after that with the kids and then we had bbq hamburgers for supper. Supper was followed up by some more good playtime with the kids and then a getting ready for bed dance party to Toby Mac and Grits. It was just a really great day- I know it doesn't seem like we did anything special, but it was incredibly special to me. There were no extreme melt-downs, lose your cool moments or time outs. It made me smile ...smile big. Today we gelled and felt truly like a family. Big smiley face :)

Thanks for letting me share my joy.

*                                      *                                          *

Read these verses this morning. This promise certainly set the tone for the day.

 

I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there?

My help comes from the lord,who made heaven and earth!

He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber.

Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.

The lord himself watches over you!

The lord stands beside you as your protective shade.

The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night.

The lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life.

The lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.

~Psalm 121~

2 steps forward, 5 steps back

Nothing is ever predictable around here anymore. Just when you think things are going great one minute, the next minute they can crash and burn. I know sounds a bit overdramatic but sometimes that's just the way it is.
We finally got over all the craziness of sicknesses from a couple weeks ago and we are slowly working our way back to where we were. It's a crazy thing, I tell you. When A gets sick, it's like she reverts back to all her previous behaviours and frustrations. She stops communicating and is simply angry. I understand that it is awful to be sick. No one likes being sick. But it's different for her. She's so mad that she is sick and just shuts down. When she is finally well again, it takes weeks to get the progress back that we had before she was sick. It's crazy. I thought today was finally the day when we were back to where we were a month ago, and then BAM giant meltdown for some reason that we obviously missed because I, nor Albert, have any idea what caused it! You just have to wonder sometimes what goes through that little head of hers. What has it seen, where has it been before coming to us. Or is this simply her? Micah isn't like that when he is sick. He's a lot less happy, but he doesn't regress. It baffles me. But we keep carrying on. We managed to salvage bedtime...I think. But she's still rolling around in there probably because we started too early because of the giant meltdown. Or maybe it's the Easter sugar catching up with her. ...hmmmmm

Anyways...on a more positive note, something really cute that she has started doing is saying "LOVE YOU". At first I would just say it to her and she wouldn't say anything. Then one day she said it back and we just said it back and forth....now she initiates it! It's super touching and melts my heart everytime she looks up at me with a smile and says "love you".
She also will go up to someone (usually Albert or Micah) and say "hug". It's pretty darn cute!

Another really awesome thing that we are starting to see with her is empathy. She gets very concerned when someone is hurt or crying. She will actually go up to them and pat or rub them to help them feel better! This is a huge thing as she used to throw herself down and cry too if there was another child crying. So thankful for this step as well.

I hope that you all had a blessed Easter weekend. We enjoyed visiting family and having a family day.

So thankful for God's great love. Just knowing Jesus spurs us on in love and in love we are able to serve others. Without that great love we would be nothing.

For God so LOVED the world that He gave his only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
~ John 3:16~

Intentional

"Intentional" definitely a word that I've been thinking a lot about lately. Seems to come up a lot.

Intentional about hearing the voice of God. Intentional about letting our kids hear the word/voice of God. To hear God. To get to know Him. Providing many opportunities for that to happen. Through devotions, Bible verses, songs, church, KidJAM, prayer, and just quiet time to be still.

A friend introduced me to something called "IF" (www.ifequip.com) and it's a group of women from all over that are studying the same passage of scripture every weekday and then they post their thoughts online, and you can listen to two women discuss it. Currently they (and I) are reading through John. This week one of the passages we read was: John 10:27-30
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”
When the two women are talking, they are talking about how we as parents need to be intentional to hear the voice of God and then we need to intentionally allow our kids to hear the voice of God as well. We need to make sure that there aren't distractions in our home that lead our kids away from God's voice. Our kids need to see us seeking God's voice and then intentionally give them ways to hear God's voice too.

After Kalyna passed away I started writing out verses of meaning to me (probably a lot of them are in this blog...) but I would write them on coloured paper and put a magnet on them and post them all over my fridge. They were a good reminder to me that these were important words that I needed to hear. Now those verses are moved to the side of the fridge or to the top as the kids like to knock them off the fridge and then pull the magnets off the back. Not exactly ideal....I'm sure there will be a time when they can read them...but for now that's not the best way for them to hear God's voice.
Right now one of my favourite ways for my kids to hear God's word is through songs. Both of my kids love music. They love it! They dance, or sing, or clap or move. It's really fun. I have found that there is great kids music that promotes the word of God. Have you heard of the "Rizers" ? They are fantastic! Look them up on YouTube. They are an animated band that sings Bible verses. It's awesome. Micah loves them and A is starting to as well. Micah now sings Bible verses....and you know what, I do too! They get stuck in my head even! And then I can show Micah where they are found in the Bible. He loves this and then wants me to write the verse out for him and then I hang them up in the kids' playroom! I love it! Also another great band for kids - Go Fish Guys. They are quite awesome. I could listen to them all day....but so can my kids! Micah and A love them too! They have great songs that worship God and they are fun! Check them out on Youtube too! I find my kids (Micah mostly, but I'm sure A will too (although she does already say "trust" because of a song...) repeating words and phrases and verses from the songs that are ultimately Bible verses or songs of praise to our Saviour! It is great!
Another way that I'm going to use to be intentional about my kids hearing God's word/voice is through a specific life verse for my kids and for our family. I'm going to have these verses posted on the walls so that they are there and my hope is that the kids will be able to recite their life verses from a young age and be always challenged by that verse whenever they have quiet time in their rooms as they get older.

Our family verse is going on the wall in the living room - it was one of our wedding verses as well.
Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
This verse tells our family that God has plans for our lives. He put us here for a specific purpose and will give us what we need to prosper in this plan that He has. We can't do it alone, we need to lean on Him for the strength to fulfill these plans. He alone can give us that hope and future that we so long for.

Micah's verse, is found in Micah....of course...it just had to be. His verse is Micah 7:7
So I will look to the Lord. I will put my trust in God my Saviour. He will hear me.
-I love it because this is what I long for, for my Micah. That he will always look to the Lord. That he will trust in God and know well that God will always hear him. I think that if Micah does this, that the rest will flow from this. That his life might be dedicated to loving and serving God and then loving and serving others. If Micah will look to the Lord for guidance for his life, then his life will be led by God and Micah will do great things for God. I pray this for my son.

A's verse is Deuteronomy 31:8 -
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
-I love this because I love putting A's name in place of the word you. The Lord himself goes before A and will be with A. He will never leave A nor forsake A. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged.
This verse is perfect for a few reasons. I love how it says that the Lord goes before her. She's had a rocky beginning, but despite that, God has been going ahead of her, preparing the way for her. He's been working in our lives to prepare us for her. He's been making a way for her even though she/or we didn't know it. Also, I love the phrase "He will never leave you". I think that is so important for A. I hope that she is secure and confident in our love, knowing we will never leave her...but more importantly that she will know this of God. Despite having been moved a lot in her short life, knowing that God will never leave her. And the phrase "do not be afraid" has been something that is resounding with Albert lately. Has to do a lot with his trip to El Salvador before Christmas this year. It really made this verse stand out to us as well. And lastly "do not be discouraged" - a phrase to encourage and to press her forward...hopefully A will take this to heart and continue to strive for her best and to fulfill the plans that God has created her for. I pray this for my daughter.

**As an aside, if you are thinking of posting verses on your wall and aren't sure how to get them on there, I know someone who makes the vinyl words/phrases for walls and they are awesome....so email me and I can get you in touch with her! :)**

I just want to encourage you today. Stay in God's word. Consume yourself with ways in which you can hear God's voice. Then find ways to allow your kids to hear God's word too. If we are listening to God and hearing His voice, then the voices of this world, the temptations we face on a daily basis, grow quiet as we follow our Good Shepherd to His plans for us.

Seed - plant and water

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted....it's been a busy while! Upward basketball certainly keeps us hopping over here! Season 3 is now in the books. It was definitely a whirlwind...but I trust that God will use everything that occurred during the season to encourage the families and players to consider what Jesus means to them. We are thankful to have been able to run the season again; thankful for all the volunteers that share our vision and were willing to give up their time and energy and love; thankful for my family especially who coached and watched our kids while Albert and I spent Saturdays at the gym.
I guess something that I was looking for this season was to know that someone's life was changed. That someone came to know Christ for the first time as a result of Upward Basketball. I guess part of me wanted to know if all the work and time spent putting Upward Basketball together and running it is worth it. As I was pondering this, it somehow reminded me about seeds in the Bible. So I searched "seed" to see what verse I was thinking about. The one I found just hit me square in the face.
It is Paul talking:

What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building. ~1 Corinthians 3:5-9~

To me this says...leave it to God. It's not me that changes a life, but God. It's not Upward Basketball that changes a life, it's God. It's not the coaches, the half-time speakers, the end of season celebration that changes a life, it's God. Our job is to plant or water. We may never know when the plant will begin to grow, or what kind of growth spurt the water will cause. Only God knows this. God is the one who brings the growth. We need to continue to share God's love and be open to sharing our faith whenever asked.  For everyone needs to know our Jesus. This life is impossible without Him as our guide and without the hope of eternal life when this life is over. Life would be unbearable without that promise. So whatever it takes to continue to share the love of Jesus with others we will continue to do it. Whether it's through Upward Basketball - which right now seems to be a very non-threatening way to invite people into a church...or through another means, one thing is certain: God's love needs to be shared and proclaimed to our community, our city and our world. Right now, we will pray that God will continue to bring families and kids who are searching to know Him to our basketball league, if this is where they are supposed to be. And we will continue to share His love with those He sends our way. Looking forward to what season 4 may bring.

Reflection

I suppose now is as good as time as any to do some reflecting; and I suppose the real reason for my reflection is that I have to talk at Upward on Saturday.
Upward basketball....season 3.....Game Day number 1 on Saturday. Saturday happens to be January 11. That 11 number always gets me still. And January is 6 months from July. I know you'd think by now I wouldn't think about these things...but yet, the significance for me is so hard to miss. Seeing as I need to find a way to talk on Saturday, I thought I'd do some brainstorming here, so that I can get my thoughts out as to what to say.

***

When I was trying to decide what to say, I couldn't help but think about the significance of this date.
January 11, 2014 - Upward Basketball Season 3 Game Days begin. This date makes me think about a lot of significant occurrences over the past few years.
It's been 2 and a half years exactly, since we lost our second child in a miscarriage at 11 weeks - which means it's also been about 2 and half years since my family and I started coming to the Sarnia Evangelical Missionary Church.
It's been exactly 1 and a half years since we lost our third child, Kalyna who was stillborn at full term on July 11 , 2012.
It's also been just over half a year since we've had our fourth child - our adopted daughter come to live with us.
When I was thinking about everything that this date brought into mind for me, I can't help but thinking that this was so not the life I had planned. I hadn't planned on living in Sarnia (I like Sarnia, I grew up here, but figured I would end up living elsewhere). I had planned on having at least four children, but hadn't planned on two of them being in Heaven already. These past few years have certainly been filled with lows and highs.

I just want to share with you a couple of things I have learned over the past couple of years.

1. That God's plans for my life are not necessarily what my plans are for my life, however, God's plans are for hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.
And when I think about what my future will be, I know it will be in Heaven with Jesus and with my 2 children who are already there. I pray daily that my other children will make the decision to follow Christ and join us in Heaven some day as well - although preferably some time after me....:)

2. That whatever you face in life, when you hit that lowest point, that you don't have to fear and that you are not alone.
Isaiah 41:10 says: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
God is always with you. When my daughter died, it was the lowest of lows, and yet there was peace...a peace that could only come from a God who loves us so much that His own Son died too...and He knew exactly how I felt and promised to stay with me and comfort me and provide me with strength to carry on in life knowing my daughter is with Him.

3. The joy of being part of a church family.
2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says: Praise be to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.
Being surrounded by a group of people who believe in comforting others due to the comfort they've received from God is such a blessing. To have others who are willing to give up their time, agendas, happiness to take time to sorrow with you and find ways to bring comfort is like no other. Being surrounded by people who will love you simply because they know you attend their church is astounding and truly something that can only happen when God is present in their lives.

These three things I have learned these past years.....I hope they encourage you as well...that God has a plan for your life, He will never ever leave you and provide you with strength and finding a church family is full of many blessings.

***
Well Upward Game Day 1 is now in the books....what a great day it was, and I hope that everyone was encouraged a little as they continued on throughout their day and week. Looking forward to see what Upward Game Day 2 brings.